Stop The Bully

In a recent national survey of students in grades 6 to 10, 13 percent reported bullying others, 11 percent reported being the target of bullies, and another 6 percent said they bullied others and were bullied themselves. Surveys indicate that as many as half of all children are bullied at some time during their school years, and at least 10% are bullied on a regular basis.

The librarians are naturally placid people...

Hello Mark,

I have just visited your website and see that the advice is for parents of angry teens. I have a client who runs a public library and therefore has a problem with other peoples' teens! A group of teenagers come into the library on a daily basis. They are noisy, obnoxious to other library users, and refuse to leave when asked. They take up all the computers and will not let anyone else use them. People are now starting to stay away from the library and it is getting a reputation for 'being the place NOT to go to'. The librarians are naturally placid people and it is upsetting them very much. They do not want to resort to security guards or the police. Do you have any suggestions that might help them?

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Would it be possible for the library to come up with a set of "house rules" (i.e., post a set of rules re: time limit on computers, noise level, etc.)? When visitors violate a rule, they get one warning. If the warning is ignored, they receive a fine (50 cents - 1 dollar). If they refuse to pay the fine, they are not allowed in the library until the fine is paid. ==> Here's where the library will have to involve authorities. Involving the authorities WILL happen sooner or later - probably by default – they’ll lose business otherwise.

Recommendation: Get a retiree to work part time as a security guard (e.g., after school).

…welcome to the 21st century,

Mark

Online Parent Support

Older Son Sexually Assaults Younger Brother

"Can you please help me out? My ex called me last week and told me that my older son has sexually assaulted my younger son. The older one is 12 and the younger on is 8. I have been looking online today for some help and what I need to do about it. Yes, on Monday I am going to call for some counseling for him. Can you please help me out? I just need to know what to do and how to talk with him. Just to let you know, the boys do not live together. The younger son lives with mom and the older lives with me. I don’t want anything bad to happen to my kids and this is very hard to deal with."

First of all, don't panic. Adolescent sex offenders are considered to be more responsive to treatment than adult offenders and do not appear to continue re-offending into adulthood, especially when provided with appropriate treatment. But, they need to be subjected to the normal juvenile probation supervision requirements.

Adolescent sex offenders sometimes attempt to copy scenes they have seen in pornography media and usually use verbal coercion rather than violence and aggression to obtain compliance of their victims. Treatment centers for youthful sex offenders have mushroomed (both inpatient and outpatient). The rising incidence of sexual crimes by children against children is no longer America's best-kept family secret.

Typically sex offenders are lonely and socially isolated from peers; they prefer the company of younger children; they are naive and lack suitable sex education; and they frequently experience disturbed family relations. This lack of stability and consistency, confusion about one's own sexual identity, and a real sense of powerlessness in the family combine to cause real problems.

If you don’t report this incident to authorities, your ‘cover-up’ WILL create more problems than it solves – guaranteed. So, please consult your juvenile probation - today!

==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents