ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Dear Mr. Hutten, I have an 8-year-old child that was recently diagnosed with Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Just before his third birthday he was diagnosed as having autism. He had severe speech delay, cognitive issues, major behavioral problems and low social interaction. With a combination of ABA, occupational and speech therapy, he is vastly improved. He now tests "normal" in cognitive tests, although he does continue to be a bit behind his peers. His behavior, however, is horrific. I tell people it's like living with a surly teenager. He lashes out if he doesn't get his way. At school he routinely hits other children if they frustrate/upset him in any way. He blames others for everything, even going so far as to say that his victims *told* him to do it. He has every single out of control behavior on the ODD list (with the exception of swearing because there is no swearing at all in our home). Because he's routinely seen for autism, the doctor...

Mark: Thank you for the quick email. My wife C___ and I are starting to go through the material now. One question (I think I know the answer, but figured I would check), I am assuming these strategies have been successful on children with a diagnosis of Reactive Attachment Disorder as well as ODD. Our son C___ is 15 years old and exhibiting most of the issues you describe. He is extremely confrontational and defiant at this time, but not violent. He is insisting upon control of his life than making very poor decisions with that control. C___ was removed from his biological mother at 18 months and his father was already incarcerated by that time for sexually molesting one of C___'s sisters. Ended up, he later admitted to sexually molesting three of C___'s sisters (none were the father's biological children). The six children were all in foster care for a minimum of 7 years prior to being adopted. We adopted C___ just before his 10th birthday. He had lived with us for appr...

Dear Mark, I think your "my out of control teen" site is extremely rich in content with so many links and avenues for reader participation. The information on camps and schools and the even the links to blogs offers such a variety of help. That you repeat often the advice to have children evaluated is so important. When my husband's nephew at age 12 began to sleep more and lost interest in after-school activities, a few weeks passed with his parents worrying about depression and what might be happening at school before they thought to take him to the doctor. It was leukemia. I think missing important medical clues with children will worsen with fewer families able to afford general health care and more destitute families using emergency rooms instead of family physicians. C. Online Parent Support