ONLINE PARENTING COACH

In an effort to enhance their kid's self-esteem, moms and dads often use praise to recognize the efforts and accomplishments of their kids. Of course, recognizing your kid's positive behavior is more likely to build self-esteem than dwelling on problems. But praise is not always uplifting. Praise like “you're impressive …brilliant …amazing” can be too much for a child to believe. It is hard to accept such exaggerated praise. Have you ever noticed how uneasy you feel whenever anyone evaluates you? When someone tells you that you're “attractive” or “clever” -- all you can think about are the times you felt unsightly or did something stupid. Kids also become uncomfortable with praise that evaluates them. They often dismiss it. Sometimes they will deliberately misbehave to prove you wrong. Instead of evaluating what your youngster has done, it is usually better to describe it. Describe in detail exactly what your youngster did. Then your youngster, hearing the ...

Some disciplinary techniques are more effective than others. Fortunately, today there's a great deal of scientific evidence to back up behavior modification strategies. In order for a consequence to be effective, it must be: Unpleasant for your teenager Not too long (teens will give up if the consequence lasts too long) Not negotiable after the rule has been broken Immediate Age-appropriate A good match for the misbehavior Disciplinary techniques that are effective can largely be grouped into two categories: 1) taking away something that is pleasurable (e.g., your attention, an exciting environment, a fun activity, etc.), and 2) imposing something that causes discomfort (e.g., paying a fine, doing extra chores, etc.). The consequence should always fit the misbehavior. Draft a list of “Most Important House Rules” and put an appropriate consequence next to each one. Because these are the most important rules in your house, the disciplinary techniques should be fair...

Have you ever noticed the things your child says to get her way? It’s as if she has taken a course on “how to manipulate parents.” Below are seven statements you probably have heard your child say again and again in her steadfast effort to influence and control you. See if these sound familiar, and discover some effective ways to respond to them: 1.    YOU LOVE BRANDON MORE! This is one of those comments designed to prey on a parent’s guilt. This comment about how you love one of your other children more is often effective in getting moms and dads to launch into a lengthy discussion with the youngster—and that only encourages the youngster to debate the parent’s authority. The next time your youngster accuses you of loving her sibling more, say, “You know that’s not true. I love all my children equally, but I parent them differently.” 2.    GET OUT OF MY BEDROOM! Somehow, kids have the idea that their bedrooms are off-limits, and that any parent wh...