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"How do I get my teenage son (rather defiant) to study?" Here's some pointers: 1. Don't do the assignments yourself. It's not your homework—it's your child's. 2. Help your child to make a schedule and put it in a place where you'll see it often. Writing out assignments will get him used to the idea of keeping track of what's due and when. 3. Provide a book bag or backpack for your child to carry homework to and from school. 4. Provide homework folders in which your child can tuck his assignments for safekeeping. This will help him to stay organized. 5. Help your child manage time to complete assignments. For example, if your eighth grader has a biology report due in three weeks, discuss all the steps she needs to take to complete it on time, including: selecting a topic doing the research by looking up books and other materials on the topic and taking notes figuring out what questions to discuss drafting an outline ...

Mark, Thank you for your support on the children. I am one who purchased your book for my sister-in-law who has an OOCT to say the least. I have tried to support her, but avoid family feud and need some help. If I need to purchase another book/license, that will be fine with me since it is 2 users you are supporting. My sister-in-law's daughter will be 17 in November. She’s lower on developmental and social areas and quit school 3 years ago due to nobody being able to deal with her. Her mother (R) took her out of school and stated she would Home-school her, which never happened since her daughter will just not do anything. R has to work and some of us have tried to help her out such as my other sister-in-law trying to work with her on Home school material (when it was finally purchased after a year). I enrolled her (with teens & R's agreement) in a Kumon program, and my mother-in-law has tried too. What happens? Every time it seems to start working the teen goes into a fit...

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 ==> www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com - Discipline that works for defiant teens!

Hi A., I’ve made some comments below. Please look for the arrows: >>>>>>>>>>> I have a 14 year old son with ODD. I need advice on step one of lesson one of your parenting program (apologizing, preparing him for change). I have tried this approach with him in the past. It causes him to go into an all out episode that tends to last for a month. He feels it gives him permission to blame everything on us. >>>>>>>>>>> Just omit the apology part. Include all the rest, because he deserves to know that some parenting changes are coming; he needs a “heads-up” on this. He says were just lying because he knows that we don't believe what we're saying, even though HE knows we ARE to blame. It does not get him to admit that he is even part of the problem. And like I stated, this goes on for about a month. >>>>>>>>>> The strategy does not include ‘getting him to admit his part.’ So, my questions a...

My 16 yr old daughter rec'd F's and we are not allowing her to get her drivers license until her grades are c or better. Are we doing the right thing? _________________ Hi L., Re: poor academic performance, please go to www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/q-a and read this email from a parent: "My son brings home straight F's on his report cards. I ground him for the entire grading period, but he continues to fail in nearly all subjects. I know my son is a bright kid and can do the work when he wants to. What can I do to motivate him?" -- B. R. Re: withholding her driver’s license, please review the following page: www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/rely Given that we as parents want to (a) get out of the business of playing teacher, dean, vice-principal, etc., and (b) foster the development of self-reliance, the answer to your question is “no” – parents are not doing the right thing by not allowing a teenager to get her driver’s license. Whenever you are undecided about wha...

My wife and I have a 16-year-old daughter that we "discovered" was sneaking out of the house at night, partying etc. Once we confronted her, she and a neighbor girl ran away for about a day and a half. Since then she has been to 6-8 counseling sessions with no immediate results. We found you site and put your suggestions into practice now for about two weeks. She became very angry at first, but as privileges were taken away, she backed down some. My question is how do you know when it is over the top? If she threatens to run away again do we immediately call the police? We are just wondering what to do if it ever escalates to that level again. Ironically she is a very good student 3.7 GPA despite sneaking out a couple times a week on weeknight. _________ >>>>>>>>>>>How do you know when it is over the top? Well …make sure you are not grounding or taking away privileges for too long – more on this here: www.myoutofcontrolteen.com (see “...