He is on concerta, strattera, celexa, trazadone...

I purchased your online book: My out of control teen. My 14 yr old son has ADHD, ODD, has terrible tantrums, but mostly with his stepfather. He physically hits him. It doesn't hurt him as he is 300 lbs & my son is 105 lbs but we are becoming concerned with the violence.

When his stepdad tries to restrain him he yells quite loudly "ow, you're hurting me" so everyone in public will hear. He has yet to physically harm me, but his stepdad has told him bad things will happen if he hurts me. His father also has an anger problem (verbal), but he seldom seem\s him, but that doesn’t mean the past hasn’t rubbed off on him.

I have been divorced from his father for 7 yrs. We do have him in counseling right now for his anger, but it doesn't seem to be helping. He is also adopted so I don’t know much about his past, but his Dr’s all seem to think he was probably a drug or alcohol baby. He is getting into a lot of trouble at school, but mostly for acting out verbally. His grades are slipping. He has a special medication Dr that has monitored him since he was 5. He said he has never seen him this depressed but the behavior is still the same behavior he had at 5. His depression seems to be caused from his older sister (his only sibling) going away to college this year (or so he told the Dr).

He is on concerta, strattera, & celexa in the am & trazadone to sleep. Anyway, I am at my wits end with him. He physically exhausts me with his constant barrage of tantrums. If we say no, we pay the price. He tries to beat us down to giving in to him & if we don’t, then the barrage continues. We don’t give in to him, which is why we are so exhausted, but he just is relentless!! Any suggestions on how to deal with him?

K.A.

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Hi K.,

I’m not trying to take a shortcut with you here, but I have already addressed this in the ebook. Please refer to the Anger Management chapter of the ONLINE version of the ebook. Listen to the audio as well. If you still need clarification, we should probably schedule a phone consultation. If I answered this email in depth, I would just be repeating what I have already discussed in the Anger Management chapter.

If you’re still at a lose after reviewing the ebook, call 856-457-4883. Leave a message re: when I can return your call (include your time-zone).

Mark

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

We are facing some challenging times ahead...

Hi, We are facing some challenging times ahead and I would like some advice on how to handle this with our 16 year old son. We moved to the town we are in now in the U.S. about 2.5 years ago from Canada. At the time our son had just started Grade 9. We had some rough times with him refusing to do school work, not caring about school and just being very angry. Things had just turned around with him recently when his Dad's company decided to close down without much warning. His Dad won't have any trouble finding a new job but we likely will need to move again.

As you can imagine, this prospect is not going over well with our son. He is saying he wants to stay here to finish high school. Unfortunately with his past academic efforts or lack of them, he isn't doing great at school. He is in his Junior year but he is a few credits shy of graduating on schedule as he has failed a couple of semesters in 2 courses.

Also, he does not have a job and he isn't driving. How do we handle this?? Do we just insist that he come with us as he is not ready to live on his own? Do I stay behind with him until he graduates and have his Dad commute on weekends for this time?

The issue I have with this is that if our son decides to not make a real effort to pass at school he could drag out the moving indefinitely.

Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this??? Thanks in advance, C.


Click here for the answer...

Yes ...there actually is audio on the Online Version of the ebook.

Hi Mark,

We're working hard on improving things with our son.
Success is in small steps but there is definitely
improvement. Thanks for your help and for talking with
us on the phone several weeks ago.

I see from some of your comments on the blog that I
have just had access to the written book, not to the
audio book, which seems to have more information in
it.

How do I access it? I've downloaded the link that says
online book and audio book, but still don't see the
audio. Do I have to pay something extra for this?

Thanks,

J.

---------------------------------


No ...you don't have to pay extra.

1. Go to www.myoutofcontrolteen.com
2. Click on "Online Version"
3. Save to desktop
4. Open the ebook using your password

…then on each page of the Online Version you should see 3 buttons (one is a play button, one is a stop button, and one is a pause button).

The "live"audio recording of the parenting-workshop (195 minutes total time) is divided into 2 - 5 minute sections throughout the eBook. Each audio section, Power Point Presentation, and video corresponds to the accompanying text.


Mark

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Stealing all the money on the debit card...

Mark, Thank you for your time. I very much appreciate your offer of a phone call. I'm actually in England so I'd have to check the charges to phone you in the States. It might be better to have an online chat. I feel a bit talked out today as we've spent the last week talking very intensely- myself and my wife- a couple of very difficult sessions with my daughter in the aftermath of her stealing all the money on the debit card. I've also talked to a few people on helplines and even a clinician from an organisation called Youngminds. It starts to get very tangled up when you go over and over the same things. I was beginning to think that things had calmed down -less arguments-she is either up in her room or out with her friends. She was disturbing our sleep every night by coming in late and of course then she'd stay in bed very late or be at work so we wouldn't see her but at least the rows had largely stopped but largely because we had stopped talking. And then she stole all this money making us feel desperate all over again. If you let me know when is a good time to contact you I would like to do so. Thanks, P. 

 __________________________ 

 

 Hi P., “Talking to” and “trying to reason with” the daughter-unit are just more traditional parenting strategies that will have little (if any) positive effect. Also, allowing her to stay out late ...and allowing her to stay in her room and sleep late are just other forms of over-indulgence. I understand that it makes things easier in the short run (to have her 'out of the way' so to speak in her room), but as you will find out (or maybe you already have found out), it makes things much more difficult in the long run. 

Mark  www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Are we still liable for any accidents and injuries she may cause?

Mark,

If we put my daughter who will be 19, on her own separate auto insurance and put the title of the car in her name, are we still liable for any accidents and injuries she may cause?

She will be going to college, living at home, so we are completely supporting her financially and claiming her as a dependent.

We live in Ohio. She has had a few incidents with the car and we don't want to be liable for anything that may happen in the future. We don't want our insurance to be dropped as well as our umbrella policy.

Any help?

Thanks,

____________________________

Re: "...are we still liable for any accidents and injuries she may cause?"

Generally no. In case of an accident, the owner of a car can normally be held liable up to the statutory maximum for damages caused by the car. You, as a third party, would not be liable unless the other party (i.e., whoever suffered damage due to your daughter's accident) could prove some sort of negligence on your part (e.g., if you gave your daughter alcoholic drinks and knew she was going to drive, then you could be potentially responsible). But, the general rule is that you cannot be liable just because she lives at home with you. I'm sure a good attorney could find a loophole if he needed to though.

Mark

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Resentment Flu

Mark,

I really appreciate your help. I do want to ask you though about "resentment flu". Unfortunately, I have it myself. It is hard when I love my kids, but I also feel so angry and so terribly hurt by what has been happening. I pray to my higher power for guidance very often - it does help. Do you have any suggestions for my "resentment flu"? My feelings tend to show too well on my face, and because my children know me so well, I am sure they can tell. My hurt feelings are probably the reason my children continue to do some acting up - they probably want to hurt me. Any suggestions on how I can assume a better "poker face"?

Thanks again!

L.

__________________


Hi L.,

To resolve “resentment flu,” we must forgive. This is discussed in the ebook (in the chapter “How To Let Go” – online version).

It’s going to be very hard to maintain your good poker face if you have ‘unresolved anger’ (i.e., resentment) toward your kids. Please review -- and practice -- the material in the chapter “How To Let Go.”

Mark

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

My daughter doesn't respond to what we do and rarely speaks to me...

Hi P.,

I've responded in several places below. Please look for these arrows: >>>>>>>>>>

I've read through [the ebook] and need to make these comments. In the contents to the online version it mentions different assignments, but these don't seem to be in the printable version.

>>>>>>>>>> Actually, the assignments ARE in both the printable version and online version. On my printable copy, I see the following:

Assignment #1 - page 23
Assignment #2 - page 29
Assignment #3 - page 36
Assignment #4 - page 41

...this could be slightly different on your copy, but only by a page or two.

I have attempted to use assertive parenting as much as possible in the way that you describe. I am a teacher working with disturbed and damaged children and we use many of the strategies you mention, so I am familiar with the ideas. However, my daughter doesn't respond to what we do and rarely speaks to me, usually walking out of the room as soon as I walk in.

>>>>>>>>>> This indicates that you are in a power struggle with you daughter. Also, she has 'resentment flu'. You must - absolutely must - get into the online version of the ebook and listen to all the audio. You have only digested 50% of the material so far since you have only read the printable version. I can see why you're still struggling.

I have withdrawn privileges and possessions and she either hides away in her room for days on end or goes out and stays away all night.

>>>>>>>>>> O.K. Then you can ground her FROM her room. But you need to get out of the power-struggle first.
The only time she really makes any contact with us is if she is feeling poorly and then turns into a baby lying across her mother like a very young child.

>>>>>>>>>>> This is an indication that she is emotionally under-developed (which as you may have read, is a result of over-indulgent parenting).

She is very awkward about taking any medicine when she is unwell and will often refuse totally because she doesn't like the taste or consistency. This contrasts with drinking large amounts of vodka when she goes out with friends. I can't really see how the very good advice in the ebook can help us in this situation.

>>>>>>>>>> I have to be honest here. I don't think you "got it" with your first "read through" of my ebook. I clearly stipulate a method for dealing with teenage drinking. We should probably schedule a phone consultation. If you're available tomorrow, I'll be glad to spend some time with you on the phone (my dime).

Also to go back to the online support, in the advertising it says that the course is available in audio form but I can't see it anywhere on the website.

>>>>>>>>>> The audio is in the online version of the ebook, which you have not accessed yet.

Mark