Mark, Thank you for your time. I very much appreciate your offer of a phone call. I'm actually in England so I'd have to check the charges to phone you in the States. It might be better to have an online chat. I feel a bit talked out today as we've spent the last week talking very intensely- myself and my wife- a couple of very difficult sessions with my daughter in the aftermath of her stealing all the money on the debit card. I've also talked to a few people on helplines and even a clinician from an organisation called Youngminds. It starts to get very tangled up when you go over and over the same things. I was beginning to think that things had calmed down -less arguments-she is either up in her room or out with her friends. She was disturbing our sleep every night by coming in late and of course then she'd stay in bed very late or be at work so we wouldn't see her but at least the rows had largely stopped but largely because we had stopped talking. And then she stole all this money making us feel desperate all over again. If you let me know when is a good time to contact you I would like to do so. Thanks, P.
Hi P., “Talking to” and “trying to reason with” the daughter-unit are just more traditional parenting strategies that will have little (if any) positive effect. Also, allowing her to stay out late ...and allowing her to stay in her room and sleep late are just other forms of over-indulgence. I understand that it makes things easier in the short run (to have her 'out of the way' so to speak in her room), but as you will find out (or maybe you already have found out), it makes things much more difficult in the long run.