He blows smoke in my face...
I am very much appreciating the support and book guidance. I have not seen anything yet that helps me deal with another issue, which is huge in our home. My son does smoke when he finds ways to obtain cigarettes. He's been suspended from school, off his basketball team for 3 weeks, but most of the time has not gotten "caught". I firmly believe this is just another means of producing a reaction in me. However, I am deathly allergic to cig smoke and my asthma has required intense treatment as he flaunts his cigs, blows smoke in my face and refuses to change his smoky clothes. I have had 3 bouts of pneumonia this winter, which has knocked me for a loop and I have had to limit our activities. Again I think he is attempting to maintain his control over me and he's doing a great job any suggestions? Thanks
Sorry mom. You're not going to
like my advice, but here goes:
You will not be able to stop him
from smoking. Pick your battles
carefully - and this is not a battle
you should fight. In fact, the
more you worry about it or
lecture him, the more he will
smoke! But you can stop him
from smoking on YOUR
property. Here's what you can
say to your son:
"I can't keep you from damaging
your health by smoking. But it's
your health – and mine! So,
I don't want you smoking in my
house or anywhere on my
property. If you choose to
smoke on my property, you'll
choose the consequence, which
is grounding for 3 days without
privileges (e.g., use of phone,
T.V., computer, etc.)."
If your son smokes on the
property, follow through with the
[Use the strategy “When You Want
Something From Your Kid” in the
Anger Management section of the
online version of the ebook.]
The Strong-Willed Out-of-Control Teen
The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages, self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to control.
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