Dear Mr. Hutten,
I am writing to ask for some advise. I should also mention that i visit your site regularly and think it is great. My daughter is 14 and has ADD, which encompasses a lot of challenges in itself. My biggest problem with her is her lack of interest in school work, goals or motivation. It's a struggle just to get her up and going every day, and even though i succeed most times, she doesn't do anything in school except socialize and roam around. She will not study, always says she doesn't have any homework until the last minute sometimes and then expects me to race around getting her supplies or letting her use the computer to throw her project together.
I have tried grounding her but she doesn’t seem to care...we live a few miles out of town so she doesn't get to go many places anyway. I don’t let her use the computer very much to try and make her earn its use, and i don’t give her an allowance because she rarely does what's expected of her in the way of respect, chores and schoolwork in order to get it. She just generally has this "i don't care" attitude about however you try and motivate her.
Please help...she is a bright girl with a loving heart but whatever anybody does for her its never enough, things are always everyone else's fault and she doesn't seem too worried about her future. I appreciate your taking the time to read this.
I'm about to give you the #1 most difficult recommendation for parents to hear. When I tell them what I'm about to tell you, they look at me in disbelief. But here's the deal:
Those parents who follow this advice find a slight improvement in their child's academic performance. Those who don't continue to waste a lot time and energy trying to get their child to bring the grades up -- and they continue to drive a wedge between themselves and their child. Having said that, here's what I STRONGLY recommend: