ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Hi Mark, I have run into a situation I don't really know what to do. I have a 13-year-old daughter and for the most your program is working great. My problem is she is almost too honest with me. She tells me everything. Two weeks ago I noticed her mood was horrible, I asked her if she was smoking pot? She got cranky and 20 minutes later she brings a bud of weed out of her room and told me to get rid of it. She told me where she got it and agrees to not go over there anymore, not happy about it, but accepted it. Now I let her go to another friends for a sleepover and they went to another friends house, she was offered ecstasy? She told me she refused it and so did the girl she went over there with, but the one girl did some. Now I said well, I guess you won't be going over there anymore, I explained I am glad she told me and was proud she made a good decision, now she says well, if that is what I get every time I am honest with you, I am not going to tell you what goe...

Hi J., == > I’ve responded throughout your email below: Hi Mark, I have 3 questions now with one being the most pressing. That is, do you see my son is going to accept the discipline based on the information I provided? == > Strong-willed, out-of-control children will rehabilitate themselves when they are ready, and not a minute sooner. They will change their behavior when – and only when – they choose to. The job of parents is not to get children to obey. It is to simply teach them that responsible behavior results in one sort of consequence while irresponsible behavior results in quite another. Oppositional, defiant kids refuse to accept this fundamental reality until they are forced to experience a significant degree of discomfort related to their poor choices. Discomfort comes from parents’ implementation of tough love – and unfortunately, tough love is often tougher on the parent than the child, especially if the parent has adopted an over-indulgent parenting style o...

Hi M., I’ve responded throughout your email below: Thanks for your response. I guess part of the problem is that there are so many issues and I am not sure which is most pressing. Long term, the biggest problems seem to be lying and disrespect. They are the most difficult for me to deal with. == >Please click here for info on lying: http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/lying.html ==> Re: disrespect. Refer to the strategy entitled “When You Want Something From Your Kid” [session #3 – online version]. When she lies, I do not always catch her. I suspect lying a lot, but even when I catch her red handed, she will manipulate and continue lying until the story is so long, I forget what we even started with. So many other times, I do not know if she is lying or not and if I can't verify, I don't feel justified in disciplining. She also lies to other people. If I hear a lie third hand and address it with her, she says it is not true. Therefore, I rarely end up disciplining w...

Mr Hutten, I have a question to ask but I feel I should give some background material first. My girlfriend and I have been living together for 5 years now. She has three sons two still live with us one has moved out on his own. The two living with us are 9 and 15. I have two sons one in college and a 15 year old. The reason for purchasing your study guide is for her 15 year old. When we moved in together (my home – in case it matters) we had issues with my 15 year (at the time 11), it lasted two weeks and everything collected itself back together. The house went along fine for quite some time. I coached her sons in little league, and tried to be the best I could for them. My son is more a computer nerd so it was nice to have kids interested in sports. Her kid’s father was never much in their lives with visits to him two to three times a year tops, and always with an issue when they would go there. Her ex is an alcoholic, and on occasion the 15 year old would catch him d...

Hello Mark, I am a Field Officer for the Department of Child Protection in Western Australia. I was searching the internet for resources to assist some of our families with parenting teenagers and came across your web site - can you please provide any additional details of the content of your online parenting program. Thank you Kind Regards Helen Ellery Field Officer Department for Child Protection Roebourne Ph: 91821208 Fax: 91821375 `````````````````````` Hi Helen, Online Parent Support (OPS) is a program designed specifically for parents of strong-willed or out-of-control adolescent children. OPS provides the practical and emotional support parents need to change destructive adolescent behavior. The straightforward, step-by-step action plans presented in the curriculum allow parents to take immediate steps toward preventing or intervening in their children's negative choices. Parents involved with OPS have the opportunity to experien...

R___ has now isolated herself in her room. She is not contacting friends. She insists that we have ruined / are ruining her life, and she will not talk to us. `````````````````````````````` Re: R__ has now isolated herself in her room. A child's bedroom is as much of a privilege as her bicycle. Thus, ground her FROM her room. The grounding can be immediately lifted as soon as she shows evidence that she will work on the behavior contract. Children always have something that they value -- even if that "something" is to simply do "nothing." Re: She is not contacting friends. She insists that we have ruined / are ruining her life, and as we said, she will not talk to us. Allow her to have her mad-time. Pouting takes a lot of energy. She will eventually grow tired of this "game" (and it is a game -- a game called "I'll pout and hide in my room until I get my way"). Remind her that you love her, and that she has your permission ...

What do I do with my 16-year-old son who continues to steal things from our home. He has stolen jewelry and pawned it. Of course he always denies that he did it, but I have found pieces of my jewelry hidden in his room. He has been caught stealing from cars. I told him we were going to start over this year and no longer bring up what he did in the past, thinking he has changed, but now there is one hundred dollars missing from my daughter which was a Christmas gift. Of course he denies taking it, but refused to show me his wallet. Any suggestions of how to deal with this and get past the fact I don't believe anything my son says? ``````````````````````````````` Hi M., Give him a warning that - the next time something comes up missing - the police will be called and you will file theft charges (this assumes that you will have some evidence that it was, in fact, your son who took the item in question). If he steals and you refuse to get authorities involved - it shows ...