ONLINE PARENTING COACH

At least 1 in 200 kids and adolescents in the United States have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). Understanding the special impact that the disorder has on their lives is important in helping them get the right treatment. Some common issues with OCD in kids and adolescents are as follows: 1. Anger Management Problems: This is because the moms and dads have become unwilling (or are unable!) to comply with the youngster's OCD-related demands. Even when moms and dads set reasonable limits, children and adolescents with OCD can become anxious and angry. 2. Disrupted Routines: OCD can make daily life very difficult and stressful for children and adolescents. In the morning, they feel they must do their rituals right, or the rest of the day will not go well. In the evenings, they must finish all of their compulsive rituals before they go to bed. Some children and adolescents even stay up late because of their OCD, and are often exhausted the following day. 3. Other Ment...

Child and teen motivations for the abuse of pets have not been studied extensively. However, case reports and a child interview study (using the Cruelty to Animals Assessment Instrument) suggest a number of developmentally related motivations. Why Children and Teens Abuse Pets— Animal phobias (that cause a preemptive attack on a feared animal). Attachment to an animal (e.g., the youngster kills an animal to prevent its torture by another individual). Curiosity or exploration (i.e., the animal is injured or killed in the process of being examined, usually by a young or developmentally delayed child). Forced abuse (i.e., the youngster is coerced into animal abuse by a more powerful individual). Identification with the youngster's abuser (e.g., a victimized youngster may try to regain a sense of power by victimizing a more vulnerable animal). Imitation (i.e., copying a parent's abusive "discipline" of animals). Mood enhancement (e.g., animal abuse is used...

As close as brothers and sisters can be, they can also be fierce rivals. It is common for sibs to be playing peacefully one moment and arguing or fighting the next. Sibs learn to interact and get along with others by first learning how to live peacefully with a brother or sister. A youngster who has sibs is taught from firsthand experience how to see another person’s point of view, how to settle disputes, how to compromise, and how to show affection and not hold a grudge. Some situations require a parent’s intervention. You’ll know it’s time to mediate when: 1. You know the argument has gone too far when your youngster is already bawling, screaming, or throwing a fit. He can neither reason nor be reasoned with fairly in this frustrated condition. 2. You’ll easily recognize when an argument is going nowhere (e.g. “Did, too!” “Did not!” “Did, too!” “Did not!”). Don’t let it reach boiling point, and don’t bother asking who started it. Since children have short attention ...

As most parents know, grounding is a technique effective with school-age children and teenagers and involves restricting the child to a certain place, usually home or his room, as punishment. But, unfortunately, most parents do not know the proper way to use grounding, and instead, ground too long – or not long enough. The result: grounding totally loses its effectiveness, and the parent complains, “I’ve tried everything with this child –and nothing works!” How To Ground Your Child - 20 Tips for Parents: 1. Age appropriate groundings are a vital consideration. Little kids who are put in 'time out' are in effect being grounded. At this age, time outs and groundings need to be timed in minutes. The rule of thumb for time outs, groundings or withholding of privileges should be commensurate with age, but only up to a certain point. Kids under about six years of age should be given incremental time outs in minutes. Time outs should last no more than about one to two m...

Family meetings help busy families stay connected, improve communication, self-esteem, emotional support and problem solving. Another advantage of family meetings is that they eliminate the need for nagging. If a solution is not followed during the week, the person who notices this can simply write the item on the agenda again. At the next meeting, the family can discuss the consequences of not following the agreed-upon rules until a consensus is reached on that. Family meetings are good times to set house rules. You are relaxed and the kids are more receptive. Spur-of-the-moment rules ("You're grounded!") made when you are angry are likely to be unfair and un-followed. Getting together to sort out discipline problems is a valuable way for moms and dads and kids to express their concerns. Discipline problems that involve one youngster should be handled privately, but there are times when all the kids get a bit lax in the self-control department and the whole f...

Kids behave according to the pleasure principle: behavior that is rewarding continues; behavior that is unrewarding ceases. While you don't have to go to the extreme of playing behavioral scientist, you can invent creative ways to motivate desirable behavior with rewards. To work, a reward must be something your youngster likes and truly desires. Ask some leading questions to get ideas: "If you had ten dollars, what would you buy?" "If you could go somewhere with a friend, where would you like to go? "If you could do some special things with your parents, what would they be?" Granting a reward is a discipline tool to (a) set limits and (b) get jobs done. The best reward is one that is a natural consequence of good behavior: "You're taking really good care of your bicycle …let's go to the bike shop and get you a battery-operated headlight." The natural consequences of good behavior are not always motivating enough in the...

Losing privileges is one of the few behavior shapers you never run out of. Children will always want something from you. For this behavior modification technique to have a good chance of preventing recurrence of misbehavior, the youngster must naturally connect the withdrawal of privileges to the behavior. Here are some good examples: “If you choose to ride your bike over to your friend’s house without asking permission, you also choose to lose your bike for 2 days.” “Since you dawdled and missed the morning carpool, you can walk to school.” “You get caught driving drunk and you lose your license.” Here are some bad examples: “Since you decided to come home late for supper, you cannot watch any TV tonight.” (What does withholding television have to do with being home in time for supper? ...the child wonders.) “If you keep picking on your sister, you will not go over to your friend’s house to play basketball later.” (Not much of a connection here either.) "If y...