ONLINE PARENTING COACH

"Any thoughts on how to get a 17 year old to stop using drugs? He's headed for prison if he doesn't change his ways soon! He's already on probation through juvenile court." Adolescents who experiment with alcohol and drugs put their health and safety at risk. Parents can help prevent adolescent alcohol/drug abuse by talking to their sons and daughters about the consequences of using harmful substances and the importance of making healthy choices. Various factors can contribute to adolescent alcohol/drug abuse, from insecurity to a desire for social acceptance. Adolescents often feel indestructible and might not consider the consequences of their actions, leading them to take dangerous risks like abusing alcohol and legal/illegal drugs. Common risk factors for adolescent alcohol/drug abuse include: academic failure alcohol and drug availability belief that alcohol/drug abuse is OK  early aggressive or impulsive behavior  family history of substance a...

Adolescents are particularly vulnerable to alcohol use. The physical changes of puberty might make your adolescent feel self-conscious and more likely to take risks to fit in or please others. Also, your adolescent might have trouble understanding that his actions can have adverse consequences. Common risk factors for underage drinking include: History of behavior problems or mental health conditions Family problems (e.g., marital conflict, parental alcohol abuse, etc.) Increased stress at home or school Transitions (e.g., the move from middle school to high school, getting a driver's license, etc.) Whatever causes an adolescent to drink, the consequences may be the same. For example, underage drinking can lead to: Stunted development: Research shows that alcohol use may permanently distort an adolescent's emotional and intellectual development. Sexual activity: Adolescents that drink tend to become sexually active earlier and have sex more often than do adoles...

Mark, As a responsible, caring parent, I want my children to make responsible choices regarding alcohol use that are consistent with my beliefs and values. But it’s not a simple issue. We have alcohol in our home and with meals, but don’t want the kids to drink before they are adults. In the midst of these issues, our children see and hear numerous ads that promote alcohol. They may be curious, and—particularly as they grow older—face pressure from their peers to drink. How do you deal with this issue in a positive, healthy way? T. C. ``````````````````````````````` By the time they graduate from high school, half of adolescents report consuming alcohol regularly. One-third report binge drinking. The greatest increase in alcohol usage occurs between grades 6 and 10. Good news: many young people do not consume alcohol. Fifty-five percent of middle and high school-aged students say that it is against their values to drink alcohol while they are adolescents. Helping kids ste...

Research has shown that nearly 80% of high school children have tried alcohol. As much as moms and dads may not like to think about it, the truth is that many children and adolescents try alcohol during their high school and college years, long before it's legal for them to drink it. Research has shown that nearly 80% of high school children have tried alcohol. Although experimentation with alcohol may be common among children, it's not safe or legal. So it's important to start discussing alcohol use and abuse with your children at an early age and keep talking about it as they grow up. Alcohol interferes with a child's perception of reality and ability to make good decisions. This can be particularly hazardous for children and adolescents who have less problem-solving and decision-making experience. Short-term effects of drinking include: altered perceptions and emotions bad breath distorted vision, hearing, and coordination hangovers impaired...

***Help your adolescent avoid drugs*** Many teenagers experiment with drugs, putting their health and safety at risk — but adolescent drug abuse isn't inevitable. You can help prevent adolescent drug abuse by talking to your adolescent about the consequences of using drugs and the importance of making healthy choices. Why teenagers abuse drugs— Various factors may contribute to adolescent drug abuse, from insecurity and self-doubt to a desire for social acceptance. Teenagers often feel indestructible and may not consider the consequences of their actions, leading them to take potentially dangerous risks — such as abusing legal or illegal drugs. Common risk factors for adolescent drug abuse include: A family history of substance abuse Depression Drug availability Early aggressive behavior Feelings of social rejection Lack of parental supervision Low self-esteem Poverty Consequences of adolescent drug abuse— Adolescent drug abuse can have a number ...

Hello Mark, When everything I've tried failed, I started digging deeper into your program (about 85% complete but still reiterating). I found the section on ODD & CD, which I believe is present to some degree, especially the CD; probably mild to moderate substance abuse (weed, booze & grandmas prescriptions). I even heard he has been "dealing", but cannot find any proof, like a stash or cash, so I question (but do not reject the possibility of) him dealing. There are a lot of kids here on weekends, which seems normal. He is popular at school, could do better and has issues with only one teacher that I know of. I met her, and well, I don't care for her either to be honest. We are always on alert, especially when anything is confiscated (old bottle of whiskey) from his room or the smell of smoke under a heavy blanket of cologne. He in no uncertain terms asked for the bottle(s) back. I looked him in the eye and said "And I want my son back". I...

Hi Ann, >>>>>>>>>>>>> I’ve commented below. Our 15 (almost 16 year old) son went to a friend’s house last night for a party. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Did he “earn” this privilege? If so, how? The parents were home ...the grandmother was there ...they assured me that they would have a close eye on the kids and when I picked him up this morning them other assured me that they were all good. I know the boy whose house the party was at is wild and know that he bragged about having alcohol there. I picked my son up and he seemed fine. I have software that allows me to monitor his conversations online. Others are typing him about his "condition" last night and he is bragging about not knowing what he was doing and typed that he was "hoaking" (may be a typo but wondering if this slang word means anything to you?!!?!) I don’t know now what to do? >>>>>>>>>>>>>...

"Mark, Your online support has been a great help to me. I have just begun the program with my 13 year old son. Unfortunately, he is in ACJC a juvenile center in Fort Wayne. He drank hand sanitizer before school and had a blood alcohol level of 1.1. He has a history of sneaking alcohol and many behavior issues for his entire school career. Counselors and therapists, doctors all disagree or do not know how to help. I am thinking he may need residential treatment, but as a single mom this is not feasible financial. I am not sure what the court is going to recommend at this point. My question is : do you know of a treatment program that might fit his profile? I have spent many hours searching and can't find what might fit him. Most alcohol programs are for adults or older teens. I also know that the there are many underlying issues, but don't know what to tackle first.....depression, anger, social behavior, alcohol. They are all tied together. Thank you for any i...

I am writing this e-mail hoping that you might be able to shed some light on where it is that I should start your program with our son. I purchased your e-book My Out of Control Teen and found it to be very resourceful and helpful, although I am not quite sure where to start with our son. He will be 17 next month. We recently moved to a new home that we built which is closer to his school and friends. Within 2 days of our move from an acreage to the city he brokeup with his girlfriend of 1 year, quit his job, ranaway to a friends house, pierced his lip against our wishes, threatened suicide in a letter where he wrote that after being gone 5 days he went and pierced his lip and we would have to accept this and his other personal problem being suicidal thoughts. At this point I went at midnight searching for him and found him and brought him home. Since prior to this event things seemed great, he was on the honor role at school, happy, working good to his brother and sister, which...

There are some  areas where seemingly small transgressions can easily become huge legal problems for a teenager. About 15 percent of all adolescent males get arrested, and 24 percent of all minority adolescent males get arrested. When kids enter the teen years, they will naturally begin to rebel. Some adolescents choose to change their hair color or get a tattoo, but others become more rebellious. This struggle for independence can lead to trouble for the adolescent. This trouble can then lead to an arrest. If this happens with your youngster, follow these steps to learn to deal with the adolescent getting arrested: 1. Be sure your adolescents knows their legal rights. They do not have to talk to a police officer without a lawyer present. They do not have to submit to a search without a warrant. They do not have to answer questions. 2. Determine if your adolescent is alright. Is he in jail? Is he in a safe jail? Some communities have safe jails, other communities h...