I can tell you that the 'alcohol-abuse problem' will have to be addressed first. It would be easier - and a lot less painful in the long run - to go beat your head against a brick wall than tackle multiple problems before getting the alcohol issue resolved.
If you haven't done so already, get him in to see a psychiatrist for a comprehensive psychiatric evaluation. I'm guessing that his father abused drugs and/or alcohol as well. If so, there are special 'addiction-risks' for your son (as evidenced by the bizarre sanitizer episode).
Once he gets a few months of 'clean-and-sober' time under his belt, your son can then begin to work on the other issues. And yes, he may very well need 'in-patient' treatment for awhile, but most facilities will work with you on a sliding scale (i.e., payment commensurate with your income).
Mark Hutten, M.A.
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