She needs to leave, and the sooner the better...

Hello Mark,

I sent you an email the other day about our daughter having a party in our house while we were gone and that she said she didn’t. Well we found beer in our fridge, etc. And lots of other stuff, and she sort of admitted to something going on in the house.

I spoke with her about my feelings and I am not okay with it, but I was able to say how I felt. My husband on the other hand is so upset about it that he isn’t speaking to her. This is often how he handles things with her and they just don’t talk.

I have to agree with my husband that she is very disrespectful to him and to me when she does talk about how she feels. He often has to leave the room, because she isn’t respectful. His stand on things is that she needs to leave and the sooner the better. I agree she needs to move out, but I don’t agree that he should not be speaking to her. They don’t even acknowledge each other in the same room. Her graduation is coming up and he doesn’t want to go. I feel in the middle all the time... Any suggestions? Is it right for him not to talk to her?

P.

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I would suggest staying out of it all together. Here’s why:

The more responsibility you take for the relationship between father and daughter – the less responsibility they will take. This is their problem to work out on their own terms. It’s not your problem unless you choose to make it so.

Mark

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

I'll Break Every Window In The House!

I have a 17-year-old son that has become increasingly defiant and angry with me (his mom), although I don't understand why because I've always been his number 1 supporter. Well, he skipped a couple of classes yesterday at school, so I gave him three days of grounding. He said he couldn't be grounded, because he had plans already established with his friends. I told him he would have to change them, that I expected him home after school. He said "no" - and he didn't come home after school.

He called me and told me if I decided to call the police to go find him, that "I" would face his wrath of him breaking every window in my house (he's never exhibited violence before). He has recently began saying "F__ you” to me, like it's normal behavior. I turned off his cell phone because of it, but it has made him even angrier.

I've read through the ebook, but either missed it, or didn't understand - how do you even begin to start putting the online plan into place when the teen isn't in the mindset to work with the parent? He has no fear, and could care less about the consequences - because he just does what he wants to do anyway.

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In the case where the teenager refuses to accept any consequences, we issue one warning and then follow through with the consequence if the warning if it is ignored.

Say to your son, “If you choose not to accept my consequence for your poor choices, then you will choose to accept someone else’s consequence – the police and juvenile probation.”

Then if he refuses to accept your consequence, go to your local Juvenile Probation Department and file either a runaway or incorrigibility complaint.

Mark

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

What should I do?

I do not know what to do anymore besides turn my 17-year-old son out of the home. His dad and myself have been divorced for quite some time (he was an alcoholic and after we divorced he pretty much abandoned my son and daughter). I met a man 5 years ago who has been an active part of my son’s life, but since we have been together my son has displayed constant negative behaviour (delinquent).

In December we got a call from the school principal who suspected my son was selling pot. When he came home my fiancé found it so we did what we thought was best and turned him in to the police. He was recommended to youth diversion. He is currently doing this program and just last night I came home from work to find a note left. My son said he had gotten a call from a friend to say her boyfriend was abusing her. He took my fiancés car keys (he wasn’t home at the time, he works offshore) and my son hit a concrete barricade and beat up his car. He doesn’t have a license or insurance. What should I do? If I turn him in to the police again, he will be charged.

Please help.

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As you may know from reading “My Out-of-Control Teen” eBook, over-indulgence is the main contributing factor to children’s behavior problems.

To save your son from painful emotions associated with his poor choice to drive without a license would be a form of over-indulgence. Thus, the recommendation would be to file an accident report with the police. Additionally, your son should be working to earn money to help pay for the damages.

Hold him accountable,

Mark

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com