Teaching Oppositional Defiant (ODD) Students

My daughter has ODD and been suspended 9 times this year. Her school doesn't seem to be giving her any support, just suspending her. She is getting really upset as she thinks everyone is giving up on her. What can the school do to help?

`````````````````````````````

Teaching Oppositional Defiant (ODD) Students—

If you are a teacher who finds that "nothing works" to manage some students, this article may help. It's way past time for you to learn about ODD, Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

In college, you probably got very little training on basic mental health, but if you've been teaching for more than five minutes, you know that little bit of training wasn't enough. Here's just a quick peek at what they should have taught you in college about basic juvenile mental health.

WHAT DOES "OPPOSITIONAL-DEFIANT" MEAN?

"Oppositional-Defiant" is a mental health diagnosis that describes kids that have consciences but sometimes act like they don't. This diagnosis can only be applied by a mental health professional but will be very important for any youth worker to know and understand. This diagnosis is far more hopeful than "conduct disorder," which means the child lacks a conscience and a real capacity for relationships. While the oppositional- defiant child (ODD) may also appear to have little conscience or relationship capacity, you may be able to improve that with the right approach and methods. With conduct disordered youth, such improvement may not be possible.

WHAT DOES "OPPOSITIONAL-DEFIANCE" LOOK LIKE?

Oppositional-defiant kids are often some of your most misbehaved students. They may disrupt your class, hurt others, defy authority and engage in illegal or problematic conduct. Though they may look similar to conduct disorders, their bad behavior is usually less severe, less frequent, and of shorter duration. The ODD label is often inaccurately applied as this dynamic can be a difficult concept to grasp and apply. Many ADD youth are also ODD, and boys dominate this category.

THE 3 AREAS OF HELP FOR ODD YOUTH

The thrust of helping the ODD child must focus on:

1) Skill building, plus

2) "Pulling up" that conscience and

3) Improving their relationship skills.

For skill building, teaching them how to regulate their anger, actions, peer skills, verbal output, etc. will be critical. But equally important, this child must be aided to care about others and to be guided more by conscience.

STRATEGIES TO STIMULATE THE CONSCIENCE OF ODD KIDS

To help "pull up" the child's conscience, use this intervention. It can be used pro-actively or reactively (before or after the child has engaged in misbehavior.) For example, let's say the child has stolen the teacher's pen; you can say "I want you to imagine that we're making a video about your life. Are you impressed?" That "uncomfortable sensation that the child may have in reaction to this intervention may be the conscience stirring.

Another intervention to stimulate the conscience—

After the child has engaged in a problem behavior, such as stealing a pen, as in the example above, ask the child, "So what's your integrity worth to you?"

To adapt the intervention shown above for young children, simply rephrase the question to "So what's people believing in you, worth to you?" Or, rephrase it to "So what's people trusting you, worth to you?"

Before a child undertakes a problem behavior, ask the youth to imagine that s/he will read about that act on the cover of the local newspaper in the morning. Ask the child their reaction. If they say that they wouldn't want to read about it in the newspaper, the next morning, then you can say "Then don't do it!" This image makes a fast and easy guide for kids to follow to evaluate whether or not to do questionable behaviors. This intervention is a good choice to use with children whose conscience provides little guidance.

Educational Implications—

Students with ODD may consistently challenge the class rules, refuse to do assignments, and argue or fight with other students. This behavior can cause significant impairment in both social and academic functioning. The constant testing of limits and arguing can create a stressful classroom environment.

Instructional Strategies & Classroom Accommodations—

• Allow sharp demarcation to occur between academic periods but hold transition times between periods to a minimum.
• Allow students to redo assignments to improve their score or final grade.
• Ask parents what works at home.
• Avoid “infantile” materials to teach basic skills. Materials should be positive and relevant to students’ lives.
• Avoid making comments or bringing up situations that may be a source of argument for them.
• Establish clear classroom rules. Be clear about what is nonnegotiable.
• Give 2 choices when decisions are needed. State them briefly and clearly.
• Make sure academic work is at the appropriate level. When work is too hard, students become frustrated. When it is too easy, they become bored. Both reactions lead to classroom problems.
• Maximize the performance of low-performing students through the use of individualized instruction, cues, prompting, the breaking down of academic tasks, and debriefing, coaching, and providing positive incentives.
• Minimize downtime and plan and transitions carefully. Students with ODD do best when kept busy.
• Pace instruction. When students with ODD have completed a designated amount of a non-deferred activity, reinforce their cooperation by allowing them to do something they prefer or find more enjoyable or less difficult.
• Post the daily schedule so students know what to expect.
• Praise students when they respond positively.
• Provide consistency, structure, and clear consequences for the students’ behavior.
• Remember that students with ODD tend to create power struggles. Try to avoid these verbal exchanges. State your position clearly and concisely. Choose your battles wisely.
• Select material that encourages student interaction. Students with ODD need to learn to talk to peers and to adults in an appropriate manner. However, all cooperative learning activities must be carefully structured.
• Structure activities so the student with ODD is not always left out.
• Systemically teach social skills, including anger management, conflict resolution strategies, and how to be assertive in an appropriate manner. Discuss strategies that the students may use to calm themselves when they feel anger escalating. Do this when students are calm.

JOIN Online Parent Support

Parents & Power Struggles

We see the main problem is he has turned on us... he is angry and is baiting us... he just came in from soccer and hit me with a tirade of swearing. He was angry because he wanted takeaway food and he was told that there was food at home. He has now taken off – it is 11pm. How do we make him realise that he needs to conform to our rules. He has no friends and we are the only people who support him. The punching of the walls and threatening to tell people that his father rapes him etc are just his way of punishing us. Will keeping the screws on him keep making the situation worse or will it eventually break him?

Click here for my response...

Why are so many children becoming violent and committing murder?

Mark-

My question is: Why are children so violent these days. We had a murder here (15-year-old killed a 17-year-old after school)... and now this threat in our small town school !

Why are so many children becoming violent …why are so many committing murder?

J.

````````````````````````````````````

Hi J.,

The reasons for the rise in kids committing murder are multi-faceted. You can't blame it on the school, and you can't blame it on the family, the breakdown of religion or the availability of guns. It is not that simple. It is usually a combination of things. Behavior is multi-determined.

There are a lot of different reasons for behavior. However, some aspects of gang-related violence suggest that some kids are very psychopathic. They are just criminally-minded kids. The way some kids solve conflict is with weapons. Some kids are young predators. Also, kids tend to murder in groups. Remember, teenagers tend to do everything together. For example, if one guy visits his girlfriend, he's got to bring five other people with him.

We know that most juvenile crime is committed between 3 p.m. and 6 p.m., which highlights the importance of having more adult mentors and after-school safe havens. We know that better-educated youths are less likely to commit violent crimes, which stresses the need for better schools and more talented teachers. We know that the increase in violent juvenile crime has been driven by the easy availability of guns, which stresses the importance of urging our political leaders to pass legislation to make handguns less accessible to our kids (and as a side note: I am not an anti-gun person).

One key reason to why so many kids are committing murder stems from society's love and fascination with violence. Unfortunately, violence is a major theme in the American culture. Even the national anthem refers to violence as associated with the American flag ...and the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof to the night that our flag was still there. When we see kids murdered or murdering, we should realize that they are a reflection of us and the culture in which we live and accept. Our kids are modeling our values and cultural practices. The culture needs cleansing and a rebirth of values enriched with spirituality.

Violence portrayed in the media can also contribute to kids who commit murder. Kids and adolescents endure continual diet images of violence while being entertained by various media.

Today's kids are growing up too fast and do not have proper adult supervision. It's almost as if kids are expected or socialized or forced to grow up too soon. They become ‘early-age adults’ or ‘hurried kids,’ meaning they are exposed to and internalize adult forms of behavior. There's a lack of adult supervision because so many adults are working, or there's only one parent in the house. I am not denouncing single-parent families, because there are adults who are not supervising properly in two-parent homes as well. There are after-school hours where kids are not supervised. Kids in some instances are supervising themselves. You don't have people around saying, `No, that is not appropriate.'

The lack of extended family and a lack of community networking is also a factor. Grandmas and aunties are two hours away; they are not as intricately involved as they were years ago.

Drugs, gangs and the easy availability of guns also play a role in kids committing murder. Younger and younger kids are getting involved in drugs. They are also reacting to the premium society places on material goods, like expensive sneakers and other apparel. They may become obsessed about dressing a certain way or having something they can't afford. But we have to look at what kind of family circumstances exist for that child, what kind of school circumstances peer relationships exist for that child.

The perception is that crime in America is a Black problem. But the data does not support that. Whites kill Whites; Whites rob Whites. There's no doubt that things have been happening in their communities, but until now they have been seen as isolated events. This problem with our kids is happening everywhere, in heartland America, suburbia and rural communities.

Poverty and racism may contribute to the reasons that Black youths are killing one another. If you talk to one of these kids and ask him, ‘Why did you shoot him?’ … He'll say, ‘Because he dissed me.’ Disrespect has become rationale for taking someone's life.

People living under conditions of oppression have very little control over their lives. The issue of respect becomes tantamount. You can't control your income, you can't control whether you have a job or the money to support you and your family, but you can control the degree to which people show you respect. You can demand respect, particularly among other oppressed Black people.

Too many youths, particularly those in gangs, see how racism makes it difficult to succeed in society. The real question is, “What does it mean to grow up as a Black child in the United States in a society that has been steeped in racism?” They know as young Black men they are likely to have fewer opportunities to get a job, to be able to support themselves and be allowed to become respected members of society. The feeling of inequality leads to rage and the young men seem to be saying, ‘If you are not going to let me legitimately join society, I will, in effect, become your worst nightmare. I will become precisely what you don't want me to be: an angry young Black man with a gun.’

Violence is also about power. It is a means of establishing yourself in a society where you feel powerless. And if you are living in a society where the penalty is very high in expressing your rage toward the oppressors, the oppressed will express their rage and violence to one another.

If you take troubled kids and add guns and add a precipitating event in a society that glamorizes explosive responses to anger, you've got danger.

We need to look at the families themselves to see what kind of stresses the parents are putting on the kids. We have to look at the parents' parents to see if there is a pattern of violence that might explain why kids are killing kids. Kids are becoming more callous. They don't care if they die or if they live. They don't see a future for themselves. When you ask them, ‘Where do you see yourself?’ …They say, ‘I don't know.’ They don't see a future for themselves.

JOIN Online Parent Support

Parent Dealing With Difficult Teacher

My son is a brilliantly gifted 15 year old that is a total underachiever in school. He is currently expelled for having a knife at school and is attending a special program for such students. He is of course underachieving and not doing his work at this program. The relationship with him and his current teacher has gone downhill as she is trying to micro manage him. For example, today she got upset because he was using the computer to print out a time sheet for the community service that he was going to after school. I have tried to explain to him that he needs to listen to her as she holds the key to his future, at the moment (she decides if he passes or not).

I found out today that she told my son maybe he belongs in a juvenile facility. Being a child and youth worker who has worked in such facilities, I can say with all confidence that my son does not belong in jail. He also told me that she has previously told him that he has ODD. I do not know her credentials and doubt that she was conducting any controlled test. I find it extremely disturbing that she would say these things to a student. I am considering making a complaint to the school board to let them know that we are not in support of our son being diagnosed without our consent and having this comment flippantly made to him. As I stated before, I am sure her diagnosis was based on her frustrations and not any test she conducted on him.

I know that my son can be difficult and he is very headstrong. I am also a strong advocate for him and will not tolerate any missteps made by educators. I do not want him labeled, especially without having the labels explained to him. He did not have a clue what ODD was. I guess I am his biggest advocate but I don`t want to be over advocating if there is not an issue here.

Any feedback would be appreciated...

Thank you…

E.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````

Hi E.,

When your kid comes home to you complaining about his difficult teacher, many times ones' first instinct is to get in the car, drive to the school then and there and "school the teacher" on the school's lawn, in front of the principal, the students and all of the other teachers.

I know I've been in that situation before, and the father lion in me some times wants to strike! But, I also want to teach my daughters about respectful conflict resolution, and though I do believe there's a time and a place for the lion to ROAR, your kid's school is, in most cases, not one of them.

Especially when you find out that your son maybe not as blameless in the situation as you've been led to believe. In other words, get the whole story before you go ballistic! Kids have a magical way of leaving key facts regarding their involvement in any wrongdoing when telling their moms & dads their woes.

I'm not saying kids are always in the wrong and teachers are infallible, I'm just saying that most teachers are pretty good folk. Most teachers do not go into education with the goal of creating a "difficult" environment for youngsters. Although I do know teachers who have stayed past their prime, usually people in education are there because they genuinely like kids and want to help them learn. Almost everyone your kid comes in contact with in an educational setting is going to want to see him or her succeed.

I will also say that many moms & dads have no idea what strains teachers are under today with what the government expects of us, what our districts expect of us, what our administration expects of us, what the moms & dads expect of us and what the kids expect of us. (Not to mention what our own families expect of us!) What may seem like a "difficult" teacher may actually be a teacher carrying out state-mandated assessments, or implementing district NCA accreditation goals. Or, that seemingly difficult teacher may just be having a rough day (many times as a result of all of those above-listed pressures).

When your son comes home with a complaint, you are, of course, his number one advocate. I know that there are situations when it is appropriate for moms & dads to intervene on behalf of their kid. However, in most cases, teachers, even seemingly difficult ones, are willing to work as a partner with moms & dads to do what's best for your kid.

Moms & dads must also remember that teachers are just like any other human being out there. Sometimes people "rub each other the wrong way." This can happen with teachers and students too. Sometimes a kid may just not like the teacher's personality. It's not the kid's job to act in a professional manner, so in some cases, the kid not liking the teacher can spill over into his behavior, which may cause conflict in the classroom.

Conversely, if a student raises a teacher's hackles, it is that teacher's job to remain professional and hopefully that teacher will never let on that he or she doesn't appreciate that kid’s personality quirks. However, teachers do make mistakes and if he does act inappropriately, he should apologize, and as a parent, you have the right to ask for that, if the teacher does not offer to do so on his own.

Moms & dads, though, should insist on their youngster's respect for all teachers, at all times, even when that kid perceives the teacher to be "difficult."

Now what if it isn't just a rough day for the teacher? What if your kid is making consistent complaints about this teacher? I suggest, as a sign of respect, using the proper chain of command. Depending on the age of the kid, you could ask your kid to try to talk to the teacher first to see if he can solve the problem on his own. If your kid is too young or too shy and you feel it's time for you to intervene, talk directly to the teacher. Send him or her an email, call him or her or make an appointment to see him or her in person. See what you, your kid and the teacher can work out. You'd be surprised what you can accomplish with a two-sentence email, or a five-minute phone conversation.

If you do this and do not receive satisfaction after trying this, talk with the school counselor. If there is still no agreement reached, it is at this point you should probably take it to the top and call the principal. It would be unusual if you tried all of these steps and were unable to come up with some sort of solution to satisfy all parties.

I am of the opinion that most teachers, administrators, and counselors that I know will bend over backwards, do flips, cartwheels, and stand on their heads, do the conga, or cha-cha with a pit bull to ensure that a kid succeeds. And, a parent can take a kid far, but ultimately, especially at the high school level, the kid has to go the full distance on his/her own.

I know that one of the means to my own youngster's success is teaching them how to problem solve, deal with people that they may or may not like, and to be respectful of all people. It may be your first instinct to take care of your kid's problem for him or her, but allowing them the chance to work through it on their own can oftentimes be more the more valuable experience.

We all encounter difficult people in our everyday lives. School, many times, ends up being a microcosm for the "real world." Students can actually benefit from working through their problems with their difficult teachers because chances are that teacher won't be the last difficult person he or she encounters. And, when your kid sees you modeling respect for the teacher, even though you may not agree with everything the teacher says or does, your kid can learn a valuable lesson on working through conflict.

JOIN Online Parent Support

You have given me hope and inspiration...

Dear Mark,

I joined your programme yesterday in the UK. I have got to say it makes the best sense of anything that I have ever come across. Although I only had a few hours at it yesterday, I have done the topics very thoroughly (only the first 4 of week 1) and I had the best evening yesterday with my 13 year old daughter. I felt much more calm and confident because I believe that this is going to work if applied consistently. We went for a lovely walk and talked about her friends. The previous night, she was leaving home …going to live in care and her bag was packed!

So, onwards and upwards. We'll see.

But I think that the fact that I am calmer has made a difference to her. She is unnerved. Poker face tonight.

You have given me hope and inspiration not to give up on my daughter. Last week I wondered if I even liked her; now I know that I do love her.

Thank you. I will keep in touch,

V.

Online Parent Support