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On Monday night when I got home from work, my 17-year-old son had broken my glass dining table top into pieces. He also burned papers in the kitchen. I called the police (of course), but they could only talk to him because he lives there. Here is the problem: I told him that I would not cook in the kitchen nor would I purchase food from outside until he cleans the kitchen. This is the third day and the kitchen has not been cleaned, as far as the glass and burnt paper. This morning when I got up, I noticed that he has punched another pane out of his bedroom window.

What do I do? Do I continue to stick to my ground about not cooking or not purchasing food (McDonald's, Chili's, etc.), thus allowing him to feed himself? There is a lot of food in the kitchen that he can easily prepare.




1st -- Do you live in the states? If so, what state? You should go to your local Juvenile Probation Department and file a complaint. No one should have to live like this! He is a danger to himself -- and you!

2nd -- I would go ahead and clean up the mess, but he should pay for ALL the damage eventually, either with money he earns from doing chores around the house or money earned from his place of employment. If he's 17, he should be working, not sponging off of you.

NEVER purchase food for him from a restaurant. If he wants to eat out, he must use his own money.

I think it would be o.k. to cook WITH him, not FOR him. In other words, he must be in the kitchen with you and help with food preparation as well as "clean up" (e.g., help wash dishes).

I'm going to be very blunt here (and please don't get angry with me for saying this) -- your son is obviously spoiled rotten!!! Plus, I'm terribly concerned for your safety.

Please review the chapter in the e-Book entitled "Anger Management."

Also, please stay in touch,


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