Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

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My Son Hates Me

"My son feels offended because I went to the school and got a drug test to be performed on him. What I can do to ease the hate he now feels toward me? How can I make him talk to me again without giving him the edge?"

I don't think your son hates you. He probably doesn't like you, though. Sit down with your son and have the following conversation:

Tell him that you love him so much that you are not willing to stand by and watch him make poor choices and engage in self-destructive behaviors that will hurt him -- and his family. This is why you are using "tough love."

You're not out to make his life miserable, you are trying to help him grow. If you didn't love or care for him, you wouldn't bother with him.

Resist your impulse to strive and struggle for your son's acceptance. Don't strain to get him to "like" you as you begin to set some limits with his behavior. Instead, enjoy the process of the good parenting you are doing. His acceptance will come independent of your striving for it.

Love and caring for your son is about process, not outcome. And process is about purpose. And purpose is about doing what you know in your heart is the right thing to do whether your son sees it yet or not.

Believe it or not, one day your son will see the bigger picture and realize you were doing him a favor all along.

My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

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Parenting Rebellious Teens

One day you wake up and find that life has changed forever. Instead of greeting you with a hug, your little boy rolls his eyes when you say "good morning" and shouts, "You're ruining my life!" You may think you've stepped into the Twilight Zone, but you've actually been thrust into your son's teen years.

During adolescence, teens start to break away from parents and become "their own person." Some talk back, ignore rules and slack off at school. Others may sneak out or break curfew. Still others experiment with alcohol, tobacco or drugs. So how can you tell the difference between normal teen rebellion versus dangerous behavior? And what's the best way for a parent to respond?

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

Many families of defiant children live in a home that has become a battleground. In the beginning, the daily struggles can be expected. After all, we knew that problems would occur. Initially, stress can be so subtle that we lose sight of a war, which others do not realize is occurring. We honestly believe that we can work through the problems.

Outbursts, rages, and strife become a way of life (an emotionally unhealthy way of life). We set aside our own needs and focus on the needs of our children. But what does it cost us?

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The Strong-Willed Out-of-Control Teen

The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages, self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to control.

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