HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

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My son is in juvenile detention as we speak...

HI Mark,

My son is in juvenile detention as we speak, He is calling me constantly to get him out. We had a court appearance last Friday and the judge is keeping him the rest of this week. My son is pleading with me to bond him out, it is tearing at my heart strings. I do not want to go against the judge, he will be in there a total of 2 weeks due to drugs. He is charged with possession of drug paraphernalia a misdemeanor right now. I do not think I should bond him out, he is due to go in front of judge this Friday …any helpful advice would be appreciated. I believe that he has learned his lesson but these are his consequences, do I help him get out?

M.

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Hi M.,

Re: … do I help him get out?

No. You shouldn’t try to save him from uncomfortable emotions associated with his poor choices. Over-indulgent parents DO try to save their children from consequences – which is a huge mistake.

Having said this, in Indiana (where I reside), juveniles do NOT have the right to bond out. The same may be true in your area.

Mark

My Out-of-Control Teen

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The Strong-Willed Out-of-Control Teen

The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages, self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to control.

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