HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

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I looked in and found a knife...

Dear Mr. Hutten,

Thank you for your reply. It seems to be working for now and she hasn't asked about it again. I routinely look through my daughter's room. If she has drugs or alcohol in the house, I take it away and tell her that it is not acceptable for her to have these things. Last night she left her dresser drawer open and I looked in and found a knife, a large sharp kitchen knife, which is not from my home. My first thoughts are that she is holding on to it for someone or she stole it (but why?). It is a weapon and I think I should take it to the police. If it were a gun, I would take it to the police. I haven't spoken to her about it yet. What do you suggest?

The other major issue with our daughter is school. She failed so badly at her last high school that they do not want her back and I think it would be best for her to make a fresh start. However, her motivation is zero. I want her to take control of her schooling and choose where she wants to go but I worry that she is not capable of making this decision. Should we set a deadline for her to get organized and if she doesn't we take over?

H.

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Hi H.,

Re: drugs or alcohol? Please refer to the section of the eBook entitled “Read These Emails From Exasperated Parents” [Session #4; online version of the eBook; look for “drug abuse”]. This problem is covered in that section.

Re: What do you suggest? I would just confiscate the knife.

Re: school. Heather, this too is covered in the eBook. Please refer to the same section listed above [“Read These Emails From Exasperated Parents”; Session #4; online version of the eBook; look for “Poor Academic Performance].


Mark

Online Parent Support

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The Strong-Willed Out-of-Control Teen

The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages, self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to control.

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