Would it be better to let him learn rather than forcing my beliefs on him?

Mark,

My 14-year-old son found himself a job in June. He works very long hours some days, usually in the hot sun. He gets up on his own, packs his own lunch and is very responsible. This is someone who has been and can still be quite defient.

He has spent nearly all the money he has made. There is a small amount in savings for expenses he must pay soon. He loves to spend and buys a lot of his own meals and snacks. He has also bought things his friends already have. I buy him very little except for birthday and Christmas.

The problem is saving. I originally thought he should save more, but am giving up on the notion. It has caused too many quarrels and doesn't seem to be worth it. He says it is his money and he should get to determine where it goes. He will be paying for basketball shoes and driver's training and anything else coming up soon but will probably run out well before Christmas. He will not be working again until June.

Is he right? It is his money and he works hard for it. I want him to have good habits, but would it be better to let him learn rather than forcing my beliefs on him?

Loving, but frugal Mom

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Hi Frugal Mom,

Re: Is he right? It is his money and he works hard for it. I want him to have good habits, but would it be better to let him learn rather than forcing my beliefs on him?

Great question! And the answer is an unequivocal 'YES'. He's right.

You seem to be doing very well with him overall. Congratulations.

Pick your battles carefully. He will learn how to budget and manage money much better from first-hand experience rather than from motherly lectures.

Mark

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