HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

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The Insidiousness of Over-Indulgence

Adult consequences that result when one has been raised by an over-indulgent parent—

· Attitude toward life: Self-indulgent, bored, apathetic, restless, no initiative.
· Attitude toward others: Passive expectation of getting from others.
· Attitude toward sex/marriage: Attaches to partners who indulge him. May use attractiveness or pretend weakness.
· Attitude toward work: Expects them to anticipate his wishes. Hates to work. Can't find a job. No career decisions, no preparation, or persistence.

As these adults were growing up, here’s what happened:

They were given their freedom to choose and decide for themselves. They were not given much, if any, discipline or rules. Their parents were very loving and nurturing, but had great difficulty saying "no" and setting limits.

Children with this parenting style tend to have more behavioral problems as adults.

Common traits among these children when they grow up:

· Cannot maintain employment or constantly moves from job to job
· Has a strong dependence on alcohol, substances or negative habits
· Has trouble with significant other relationships (possible multiple divorces)
· Immature
· Selfish
· Spoiled
· Take advantage of friends, family, coworkers, etc.
· Uncaring

My Spoiled Teenager

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Parenting Rebellious Teens

One day you wake up and find that life has changed forever. Instead of greeting you with a hug, your little boy rolls his eyes when you say "good morning" and shouts, "You're ruining my life!" You may think you've stepped into the Twilight Zone, but you've actually been thrust into your son's teen years.

During adolescence, teens start to break away from parents and become "their own person." Some talk back, ignore rules and slack off at school. Others may sneak out or break curfew. Still others experiment with alcohol, tobacco or drugs. So how can you tell the difference between normal teen rebellion versus dangerous behavior? And what's the best way for a parent to respond?

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD)

Many families of defiant children live in a home that has become a battleground. In the beginning, the daily struggles can be expected. After all, we knew that problems would occur. Initially, stress can be so subtle that we lose sight of a war, which others do not realize is occurring. We honestly believe that we can work through the problems.

Outbursts, rages, and strife become a way of life (an emotionally unhealthy way of life). We set aside our own needs and focus on the needs of our children. But what does it cost us?

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The Strong-Willed Out-of-Control Teen

The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages, self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to control.

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