I have a huge struggle that is brewing...

Mark,

I have posted this on the blog but did not find it. I have a 13-year-old daughter that is a cutter. She is getting help with that. Anyway I have a huge struggle that is brewing. We had a agreement that she could have a cell phone after she raised her F in school, now she has two F's. She is telling me the only thing she wants for Christmas is a cell phone and if I get her one I will be amazed how much her grades will go up because she will be happy and right now she is very unhappy. She hates being home, hates me, and wants to go and live with a friend. Is this battle about the phone worth her leaving the home to a foster home because living at this friend’s is out of the question? I am thinking I will stand my ground on our agreement the first time. Please help!

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Hi A.,

Submissions to the blog go through an editorial review by staff before they are posted. This takes anywhere from 1 to 24 hours. In any event, I see that your post has made it to the blog. You should get some responses from other OPS members.

Re: cell phone. You're right to stand your ground. And as I'm sure you know - a new cell phone will not be any incentive for her to raise her grades.

Re: foster care. That won't be an option for you. Unless you're found to be an unfit mother, the court will not consider placing her in foster care.

You are only a week into this thing -- you have 3 more sessions to go. I'm very sure you will get the answers you need as you digest the material. Be sure to watch all the instructional videos. Email me after you get through the program, and we will trouble shoot on any remaining problems.

Mark

My Out-of-Control Teen