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She screams that she wants to kill me...

Hi Mark,

Could you please advise how you would deal with the following situation.

When I tell my daughter that she cannot go to a friends for a sleepover (after already staying at friends a previous night) she screams that she wants to kill me and that she cannot stand being in the house with me and then storms out and states that she is going anyway. She has fallen out with her boyfriend and has self-harmed. Her boyfriend is finished with her because of her tantrums and consequential self-harm.

She is verbally attacking me from the moment she gets up and will not listen to a word I say. My partner has moved out because of the way she treats me and my doctor wants to put me on antidepressants.

I am a single parent with a 13-year-old boy and my 16-year-old daughter.

I am at the end of my tether.

Appreciate your help.

Thanks

M.

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Hi M.,

Re: “…she is going anyway.”

Teens use threats of running away as a means of getting attention, resolving an argument or even as an attempt to make their parents feel guilty or scared. Yet, too often parents take light of what their teen states regarding running away. If your daughter is threatening to run away, take time to consider what the underlying problem might be. If she threatens to run away, don't be intimidated. Let her know that you'll call the police and speak to each and every one of her friends' parents in order to find her. Let her know that you will do whatever you have to do to get her back – no matter where she goes – even if it means filing a runaway complaint with authorities.

Re: self-harm.

Please refer to this page: http://www.myoutofcontrolteen.com/cutting.html

Re: verbal attacks.

Are you using “Anger Management” and “When You Want Something From Your Kid” [Session #3 – online version of the eBook] to deal with this issue?

Mark

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