HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

Teenagers and Social Networking Sites

If your teenagers are like most adolescents, they spend a lot of time locked in their rooms on the computer. What are they doing in there? Although you'd like to think they're busily finishing their homework or doing research for an assignment, they're most likely updating their Facebook page or instant messaging their friends. While these activities may sound innocent enough, it's important for parents to watch carefully to ensure that their adolescents are safe online.

Social networking websites like MySpace and Facebook are places adolescents go to share their lives with friends. The popularity of these sites has made it so most adolescents - and even most parents - now have a Facebook or MySpace account. But before you feel too confident just because you know your teen has a Facebook or MySpace account, consider whether you really know what your youngster is doing on these sites.

According to a poll of 1,013 adolescents by Common Sense Media, a nonprofit organization that tracks kid's media usage, parents consistently underestimate how much time their kids spend on social networking sites and how often they engage in risky behavior, such as posting explicit photos of themselves, bullying other adolescents or hacking into other people's accounts.

The poll also revealed the following findings:

• 23 percent of parents said their adolescents log onto social networking sites more than once a day, but 51 percent of teenagers said they log in more than once a day.
• 24 percent of adolescents said they signed on to someone else's account without permission, while only 4 percent of parents knew that their kids did so.
• 37 percent of adolescents admitted using social networks to make fun of other adolescents, but only 18 percent of parents thought their own kids engaged in cyber-bullying.
• 39 percent of adolescents had posted something online that they later regretted, and 28 percent shared personal information they normally would've kept private.
• Only 2 percent of parents think their teen has posted explicit photos of themselves online or engaged in sexting, but 13 percent of adolescents admitted they had engaged in these behaviors.
• While just 4 percent of parents think their kids check social networking sites more than 10 times a day, 22 percent of adolescents said they are online at least that often.

Although much of the information posted on social networking sites should be private, not all adolescents use the appropriate settings to protect their personal details from strangers, making these sites particularly attractive to online predators, scammers and identity thieves. Nothing posted on the Internet is ever truly private, and information posted today may be there forever.

Making the Internet Safe—

Your teen may be home, in your line of sight, and still be in danger. You may never know all of the details of what your teen is doing online, but you can take a number of steps to guard their safety:

1. Conduct Your Own Investigation— To be an effective parent, you have to know what risks your youngster is facing. Visit the websites your teen frequents, learn how they work and decide if they are a safe place for your teen. If your teen has a Facebook or MySpace page, one of the conditions of use should be that your teen gives you the passwords. This way, you can check their personal profile and monitor the amount of personal information they post online (though there is always a risk that they have multiple accounts and pages). Also consider setting up your own page and ask your youngster to allow you to become a friend on their account.

2. Help Your Teen Keep Private Information Private— In an effort to rack up a massive number of friends on their account to prove their popularity, many adolescents accept friend requests from people they don't really know. Make sure your teen is selective in who they share their information with and realizes that not everyone is who they say they are.

3. Keep Passwords Private— Instruct your teen to keep their passwords private and never share first and last names, home addresses, social security numbers, class schedules, cell phone numbers, lists of friends or personal photographs on the Internet. If your teen is uncomfortable with anything that happens online, let them know they can come to you. Because information can stay on the Internet permanently, can be copied and changed, and can be difficult, if not impossible, to take back, adolescents should avoid using social networking sites to share their deepest secrets or confessions. College recruiters and employers routinely search the Internet before accepting an applicant, and any lapses in judgment can come back to haunt a teen years later.

4. Keep the Computer in a Central Location— Today's adolescents know more about technology than their parents, which makes it difficult for parents to monitor what adolescents are doing online. Putting the computer in a central place in the house (such as the kitchen or living room) will make your job a bit easier.

5. Set Rules with Your Teen— Have a frank conversation with your teen about your concerns. Together, decide what kind of information your youngster can make public, which websites are off limits and how much time your youngster can spend on the computer. Many parents limit their kid's Internet time to 30-60 minutes per day and require that homework be completed before any online time begins (including instant messaging). One of the most important rules is that your teen never meets someone in person that they met online. While you can enforce the rules in your own home, your teen may have Internet access at school and friends' houses, so be sure they understand the importance of using the Web responsibly even when you're not around.

6. Recognize the Risk— Knowing the dangers lurking on the Internet is the first step toward protecting your youngster. The following are just a few of the risks:

• Studies show that a large number of adolescents have been approached by strangers online, and identity thieves have been able to hack into user profiles to access private information and take out credit in other people's names.
• Adolescents are using the Internet to harass and bully their classmates, sometimes with devastating emotional and psychological consequences.
• A number of gambling websites, pornography sites and illegal online pharmacies that sell prescription drugs are accessible to adolescents who lie about their age.

Fortunately, most adolescents aren't interested in talking with strangers, especially creepy old men, and want to protect themselves from scams as much as you do. Those who are most vulnerable to the advances of strangers and other online dangers are adolescents who have lied about their age or are engaging in other risky behaviors like drug or alcohol use.

Even though there are risks involved, the Internet isn't your enemy, and there are many ways to responsibly enjoy the Web. With your careful oversight, your teen can explore the Internet with minimal risks and minimal worry on your part.

My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

thanks for the post

ktspence said...

These are really good ideas. Internet Safety is one of my worries since my daughter loves playing on virtual worlds like ekidnaworld.com this is really helpful.

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