I got your ebook a couple of days ago. It is priceless. You saved us a lot of money on therapy. >>>>>>>>>> Good to hear!
After reading your ebook I still have a few questions:
1. What do you think of neurofeedback. Do you think it really helps with add?
>>>>>>>>>>
I’m a very strong advocate for EEG Biofeedback.
2.
What should we do when we hear from our 11 year old that her 13 year
old sister is telling her that she hates her 3-4 times a day when they
are at school?
>>>>>>>>>>
Ignoring misbehavior is an over-rated parenting-strategy. However, in
this case, I would ignore it. Pick your battles carefully. The more your
13-year-old knows she gets a ‘rise’ out of both you and her sister, the
more she will be rewarded for this behavior and the longer she will use
it as an effective tool.
3.
We are having a difficult time monitoring computer time. Any ideas on
how to set appropriate limits? She is using IM, photo shop and my
space when she is working on her homework and then clicking off when we
walk into the office. It's so difficult to monitor. Any suggestions?
>>>>>>>>>>
Take the main AC power cord with you (located in the back of the
computer). Alternatively, you could take the keyboard.
4.
Our daughter always wants to spend the night at her friend's houses
because their parents let them stay up as late as they want and wander
around their neighborhood until 10 or 11 at night. Do I say no to her
requests for sleepovers at these houses? As far as I know, nothing
illegal is going on.
>>>>>>>>>>
Yes, you should say ‘no’ …nothing good happens after 10:00 PM out in
the neighborhood. Plus, your daughter will not get back into a regular
sleep cycle until about the Thursday following the “up all night”
weekend. I recommend that parents only let their kids stay up an hour or
two later on Friday and Saturday nights (most kids stay up until 1:00
AM or later, then the parent complains when the kid can’t get up for
school on Monday morning).
5.
We've tried so hard to be positive and encouraging, but our daughter’s
self-esteem is so low. How can we help her with feeling better about
herself?
>>>>>>>>>>
If you’ll follow the plan laid out in your session assignments, your
daughter will get a steady diet of nurturing, ‘self-esteem boosting’
behavior from her parent.
6.
Every couple of weeks she throws a huge tantrum when we give her a
consequence. I don't think we have ever given in when she throws one,
but we do pay more attention to her. Do we completely ignore these
outbursts? Do we give her additional consequences because of the
tantrum?
>>>>>>>>>>
Assuming that you are delivering the least restrictive consequence
first (e.g., grounding for 24 hours with no computer or phone
privileges), I would just tell her “the 24 hours doesn’t start until you
calm down and go to your room – take all the time you need.” This is a
way to put her in charge of her own consequence.
>>>>>>>>>> Now you want to provide no intensity …put on your best poker face …and literally let her decide when the clock starts. After she calms down and goes to her room, look at the clock and start the 24-hour discipline (write down the time so you don’t forget). If she has another temper tantrum, just re-start the 24-hours.
>>>>>>>>>> Now you want to provide no intensity …put on your best poker face …and literally let her decide when the clock starts. After she calms down and goes to her room, look at the clock and start the 24-hour discipline (write down the time so you don’t forget). If she has another temper tantrum, just re-start the 24-hours.
6.
We have set up a chore chart. If she doesn't do her chores she
doesn't receive any money. This doesn't seem to bother her. How do we
get her to do her chores without the money incentive?
>>>>>>>>>>
I would use the strategy “When You Want Something From Your Kid” [in
the Anger Management chapter of the online version of the ebook]. If
you need additional clarification on this one, just send me another
email.
I think that’s it. Thanks again for the great ebook.
K.
