ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Hi, I’m finding the printable version of your book very helpful in realising i'm not the only parent with this problem. My son is a really nice kid 60% of the time, but when something doesn't go his way, he really loses it, trashing his room, throwing anything he can get his hands on. As you predicted, this has got worse to the point where he was very physical towards me. My main problem is how to get a 13yr old to stay in his room etc. I've taken his t.v. away at the moment, but he just goes to his brothers room to watch it. If i ask him to leave he just says no. How do you get a child to leave a room without encouraging physical aggravation? ````````````````` I would use the strategy “ When You Want Something From Your Kid ” [ Online Version of the eBook]. Also, you may want to consider putting a lock on his brother’s bedroom door so that he is essentially locked-out of that room [brother can lock him out when he goes in there to watch t.v.]. If he is physically viol...

Mark, My husband and I have been going over your book and we have found it to be incredibly helpful. I am still losing control over myself and getting into screaming matches with my ODD kid, but we are still doing better than before we found your book. C.K. My Out of Control Teen

Hi Mark: After receiving your email, I did go through some of the points in your book, etc. I know most of it is a “tough love” method, etc. and I do understand that. Well in follow up to my last email to you, our daughter went camping with friends last Saturday and lied about where she would be. She was in the same vicinity, but we did not know where. When she called me on Sunday morning (father’s day) and she told me she’d be doing this a lot, camping every weekend with friends, etc., I told her this wasn’t going to fly, I don’t know where she is and I can’t trust her and that possibly I would allow it here and there and on exceptions, but not every weekend. Well, of course, she freaked out and then I heard the old phrase “all the other parents don’t care”, to which I always reply “they don’t care as much as me, I do care about you” and no one’s mother would be checking on them, etc. She didn’t come home Sunday night, basically because she didn’t like what I said, and she didn...

Mark, I have been reading your book and I started using the earning, dinner once a week, asking a question that requires a complete answer and saying ‘no’ only once. I have three teens, two girls 18 and 16 and one boy 15. No yelling and most of your suggestions worked. The two youngest failed miserably this year in school and are in summer school and getting good grades. Still have problems with my 16-year-old daughter lying and stealing. But this week I am full of hope, a little less resentful and working on forgiveness. Thanks, V. www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Dear Mark, I have a question ...my son is doing very well at school now ...he got mostly B's & A's, but we spoke to his teacher and she said that he knows his work and he could be an all-around 'A' student if he tried and put some interest into his work. Do I try and push him or do I leave it because he is doing well? ```````````````````` Are you kiddin’ me?! I’ll speak for myself here (so please don’t be offended): If my son were doing this well in school, I would want to simply keep my mouth shut and stay out of his way. Pick your battles carefully, Mark www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Mark- K___, on her own decided she was not going to live with her boyfriend and came home after one week. She is extremely defiant though and stayed home one evening, staying at her sisters for two. She is now staying with her sister because her father and she got into an argument when she didn't call him as he had requested her to. He approached her with anger. I believe his family for the past 16 years has been extremely dysfunctional and now he lives with me. I approach things AFTER I get over the anger or emotions I am feeling. Probably because I grew up with a mother who was emotionally abusive to all three children and said a lot of things she really didn't mean, but caused all kinds of havoc by saying them. I told P___ after he hung up from yelling and swearing at K___ over the phone that he hadn't accomplished a thing by doing that. He, of course was offended, and slept on the couch. The next day he thought about what I said and while not being angry, t...

Mark, Thanks for the accommodations. You are a big help. I started some of the pointers that we've talked about, and I see some good effects. It's very hard to switch emotions, but I'm trying my best. I think I will be sending you a lot of thanks for this book and for the warm accommodation on the first phone consultation. I know I got the right help now. I wish God will give you more time to accommodate parents like me. K.N. Online Parent Support

Hi Mark- It’s been a while since I’ve reported back. I thought I would just let you know that my son is at last heading in the correct direction and I think it’s good to give good news too not only bad. I first read your book almost two years ago now and it got us started. At that stage it was exactly what was necessary. I also got a drug councilor involved which also made be huge impact on the drug issue. I then took him to Italy to meet his Italian family he had never met. This had a huge positive affect on him too. I found sticking to your program rather difficult and I was successful sometimes but not all of the time. I found it difficult to stay hard as it is just not in my nature, but the bit I did had the desired effect. Some of it has become natural without having to be dictatorial which is great. Then three months ago in my search for answers I sent him on a week camp organized by a local group of absolutely fantastic people. I am not too sure what they actually do, ...

Dear Mark, Well ...just so you know-I found you by chance. I went to troubledteens.com and somehow found you. I want to tell you that in one day you have already helped me. I downloaded the 60 pages-highlighted-and have read all of it and will continue to do it over and over. You really get it and I am tremendously grateful. We have been to 3 therapists-adderol and wellbutrin and now I am going to try it your way. It makes lots of sense to me. Our 17 yr old son is "Out of Control" but it is going to improve. Thanks so much, P.S. My Out-of-Control Teen

Just a short note to say thanks. We are now well into your assignments and things are going well. As you predicted, things got a lot worse to begin with, but the three kids and both parents are starting to settle well. We are getting into a routine, and now “no” is beginning to mean “no,” consequences to actions are beginning to be recognized, and your method of getting them to do something is very effective. Many thanks. I hope it's still o.k. to write with any questions as they come along, as I feel we are only part way through. And as they get older, new things are going to appear. Thanks again, M.V. Online Parent Support

HI MARK, MY NAME IS G___, I SPOKE TO YOU ON THE PHONE LAST WEEK ABOUT YOUR PROGRAM. I HAVE A 16 YEAR OLD STEP-DAUGHTER THAT HAS BEEN DIAGNOSED WITH BI-POLAR. MY WIFE AND I HAVE HAD PROBLEMS WITH HER FOR OVER FOUR YEARS. SHE HAS HAD TWO STAYS IN THE LOCAL CHILDRENS MENTAL HOSPITAL …THE FIRST STAY WAS ABOUT FOUR MONTHS, AFTER WE DISCOVERED SUICIDAL POETRY SHE WAS WRITING, CUTTING HERSELF, BULIMIA, OPPOSITIONAL DEFIANCE, VERBAL ABUSE, CUTTING SCHOOL, NO SCHOOL WORK WAS BEING DONE. THE SECOND STAY WAS AFTER SHE HAD A BREAKDOWN ABOUT A 19 YEAR OLD MAN SHE WAS GOING WITH THAT WE OPPOSED. THE CUTTING CONTINUED AFTER SHE WAS ADMITTED INTO THE HOSPITAL …THE SECOND RELEASE WAS IN SEPTEMBER 2006. SHE WAS PUT INTO A THERAPEUTIC SCHOOL AND HAS DONE BETTER THAN THE PREVIOUS PUBLIC SCHOOL. …SHE HAS A JOB AT A LOCAL SUPERMARKET THAT I PUSHED HER TO GET …SHE HAS BEEN THERE FOR ABOUT 2 MONTHS. THE PROBLEM NOW IS HER BEHAVIOR. IT IS AT ITS WORST WHEN SHE IS WITH HER FRIENDS. BUT I CAN'T S...

Hi Mark, Thanks for all the encouragement, I really appreciate that someone is out there and willing to listen. Kirsten has started to pack up all her stuff but I haven't issued the ultimatum - yet. I very calmly asked for her to pack up the rooms as I was going to need them clean and empty for the boarders. "Poker Face" ...She looked like I'd thrown a bucket of water over her. I explained that I was advertising with the local Uni to take in a couple of students. My word she did not take this news very well at all, saying things like "What am I going to do with all my things - there's not enough room at Jarrod's - I'll have to throw everything out - this is ridiculous You can't do that". "That means someone else will be using my bed" "They won't be here for tea on Sundays will they? - Dad You won't want strangers here?" "What if Chloe needs to stay overnight with you - does this mean you can't babysit?...