Will the program work for a 19-year-old?

Hello Mark,

I stumbled across your website today after I googled: living with difficult teenagers. Your site looks promising to me, but I am wondering if it is appropriate for our situation.

My husband and I are married 27 years. We have 2 boys, both out of the house. One is soaring (age 23), and one is really struggling. He is 19, and out of the house about 5 months ago. In a nutshell: depression, counseling, barely finished high school, lacking direction and motivation, four months in a work release program, sleep issues, enrolled at community college, but never attended, always short on money. Biggest issue for us: when we interact with him, it is often because he is short on money and there is usually deception involved. It creates a really tense relationship.

Are we a fit for your program, even though we have a son who is 19 and out of the house?

Cordially,

C.

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Hi C.,

Ideally, parents should implement these strategies while the teenager is still living at home. But, few things in life unfold in an ideal fashion. So yes, you'll benefit from the information in the ebook. Most of these strategies are not age-specific, and "it's never too late" in spite of what others may say.

If you're not satisfied with the material - for any reason - just email me for a 100%, unconditional refund. You don't have anything to lose here.

Mark
www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

41-Year-Old Mother Has Sex With 16-Year-Old

Mark-

Well as I told you before K___, our now 16 year old ran away and was on probation. He is now in custody and we go back to court on the 2nd of August, for sentencing. We informed probation where he was for 3 months before they finally found him right where we said he was the whole time. Just a few blocks away. The problem is and was that he was at a friend’s house and he was having a relationship with his friend’s 41 year old mother …she has 4 children in her household all from different fathers. The 3 year olds father just turned 22 years old and he has no parents.

She took our son to the emergency room and used her son C___'s med-i-cal card to have K___ treated for an abscess tooth. She also drove 100 miles to steal K___ in the middle of the night from our relatives whom we were visiting to keep K___ safe until court. Five days was all it was. Obviously that didn't work either.

We are very concerned about what has happened to him in the last 3months. She was letting him do anything and everything that he wanted and also brainwashed him against his own family. The lawyer is telling us that they will probably release him into our custody on the 2nd of August just 2 days away. We know that we will not be able to keep him from running right back over to her. Since she knows that it is against his probation and she just doesn't seem to care. It seems as though from the way we see it she has committed a number of offenses and crimes, included rape of a minor. Please give me some input. I am really going crazy and do not know who to turn to for help on this matter.

L.

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Hi L.,

See if you can get a restraining order against the lady in question (so she’s not allowed to be around your son without legal ramifications). I’d also file a report with Child Protective Services. If your son returns to her house, file a runaway complaint.

Online Parent Support

I kept my poker face...

Thanks Mark,

Yes the tough reality... I have made lots of mistakes.... But today is a new day and a fresh start.

My son came home last night at 7.35pm after I made it clear that he needs to be home no later than 7pm for dinner...

He tried arguing with me but I kept my poker face and explained that I had said 7pm and that the grounding would start again from now.

With the support of my husband and lots of patience we got through a tough morning.

My son tried everything to get me to give his shoes back, real temper tantrums...he chopped up his old shoes, burnt another pair, carried on, broke a mirror, but I didn't budge. He found another old pair to put on and I told him after the 3 day grounding he could have his shoes back...

Thanks for your support.

Kind regards,

S.

Online Parent Support

www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com

Mark,

I wanted to thank you for such a wonderful program. My wife and I have been utilizing the steps with our 18 year old son and have achieved remarkable results.

Recently, a friend of mine told me of his 18 year old daughter who was giving them problems similar to what we experienced with our son. I shared some of your steps and techniques. He had his first "encounter" with his daughter last night. He "put on his poker face" and dealt with the issue unemotionally and factually.

He came in this morning and reported that to his amazement it worked. His daughter returned home with him and they are now working on moving to the next phase of their relationship.

Again, thank you. I tell everyone I know about www.myoutofcontrolteen.com and how well the program works.

Keep up the good work!

Best Regards,

G.W.

The Program is called FAMILY...

I have four children ranging between the ages of 10 and 13. My two oldest are 13 year old girls. I got your program because I was needing help, help to stop screaming and having an awful day everyday because I couldn't get my kids to do anything that was expected of them. I learned a lot of our Parenting Newsletters, I read them every time the come into my inbox. I do not miss an issue! However, with my kids I needed more. My mother accuses me of being a liberal parent. Which I am sure that most of the parents from my generation are, I'm 33 years old. My father was impossibly hard and my mother was the typical housewife, "Listen to your father and you'll be ok." I swore I would give more to my children, more freedom, more understanding but through it all, I realized that you don't love them more if you give them MORE room to breathe. At times, you are actually hurting them.

The seem to be less confident, wanting to push the rules more because they already get so much. So, I have had to find a new way of parenting. I've gone to therapist after therapist that works with troubled kids and parents that are so lost in parenting. I finally found one that gave me a great idea that helps the children still feel like they have some control over what happens to them, but forces them to have consequences to their chosen actions.

The Program is called FAMILY. The way it works is this:

1. As a family you devise a set of rules that cannot be broken. We came up with about 20 of them. You can have as many as you want. Also a list of chores and due dates/times.

a. do as you are asked immediately

b. no cussing

c. curfew rules

2. Decide on how many cards each violation will cost

a. do as you are asked immediately costs (2)

b. no cussing costs (5)

3. Make 40 Good Habits Cards, 5 Wild Cards and 5 Grace Cards

a. Good habit cards - are things that have to be done around the house but are not normal chores

b. Wild Cards - are whatever you want them to be at the time of drawing them

c. Grace Cards - are get out of jail free cards, they get no extra jobs

4. When the child breaks a specific rule, the already know how many cards they are going to draw

a. the child can do the good habit card immediately or wait

b. if the child chooses to wait, they must wait in their room with NO tv, video games, phone etc (the self ground until the cards are completed)

c. once the card is completed, the punishment is over

5. Three Strikes Rule - these are for serious offenses and are not used lightly (ie running away from home etc)

a. Strike One - 1 week grounding, cannot leave room for any reason other than family meetings, bathroom, eating or school. Cannot play, watch tv, etc but can read a book or sleep for one week.

b. Strike Two - Same as above with 1 additional week of grounding and drawing all 50 good habit cards

c. Strike Three - Goes to a treatment facility

d. Pop-fly - the action is so bad (got caught with drugs or having sex, or running away from home for more than a day) they go directly to treatment facility

e. Bad-hair day - having a bad day and received a warning about to receive a strike

6. Devise a list of rewards

a. give a list of rewards with points required to receive them (such as going to the movies with friends)

7. Handipoints

a. use this website to calculate points received for doing their chores. It's a great site and they can enter their points themselves and then the parents approve them. They can also "purchase" their rewards here.... this is a GREAT site.

8. Finally, make sure that you have 2 additional people to help you. I have my husband (who is away at work but can call him) and if he's unreachable, I have my brother-in-law. They help clarify rules, they help support my parenting. This is a VERY necessary step! Make sure to have at least 1 other person that you trust to help you with this program.

I started this program about 2 month ago and am totally amazed at how much more respect, love and acceptance I've gotten from my children. The first week was terrible, they broke every rule and everyone was drawing cards, but we adjusted and now, the household chores get down without fighting or screaming because they know what will happen if the do not complete the chores. They don't fight as much, we have a family meeting every Sunday. My two oldest that are the same age, they even get along better because they don't want a strike. Which my son has already received and as he will tell you, "That totally sucks and I won't be doing that again!" This program has been a life-saver, have questions? Feel free to contact me.

Sincerely

Autumn

Online Parent Support