15-Year-Old Daughter Having Sex with 20-Year-Old Man

My youngest daughter just turned 15 today. While having lunch with my older daughter, who is 23 and living outside of our home, she told us that our 15 year-old had confessed to her that she lost her virginity to a 20 year-old man who often goes to a library activity that she attends each Thursday.

Her dad and I have not liked the library situation for a long time, but have continued to allow her to go (with an attempt to monitor her by having 1 of us there most of the time for the 3 hours that she's there) because older kids hang out around there plus there have been fights and other things that we have not liked. The reason we've continued to allow her to go is because she seems to love it so much. She's homeschooled, so she doesn't think she gets enough socialization and has gone out of her way to "fit in" with the other kids/young adults by giving up a lot of the stuff that she used to love, but will do just about anything to go each Thursday.

Obviously, we want her to be happy, but, especially with this latest revelation from our older daughter, it's time for us to take some kind of action. What would you advise about this? Our older daughter swore us to secrecy and I want her to have a friend to talk to (who better than a sister?), but we need to protect her from these older kids who are bad influences. This guy that she was with before contacted her on Facebook today, saying he wants her back.

She has violent mood swings, which makes her difficult to deal with and I want to handle things properly so that she doesn't hurt herself or run away or anything. This girl is so smart and so capable and has so much potential and we love her dearly. My older daughter offered to take her to Planned Parenthood for birth control pills, but that certainly doesn't take care of diseases or our other concerns plus I'm not sure how I could pretend that I didn't know about the birth control if she leaves it out like she does just about everything else. How should I react in such a situation or should I take her myself? She's already talked about taking the pills for clearing her complexion, so what would be better?

Click here for my response...


==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents

Son's Phone Messages Reveal Disturbing Behavior

Hi Mark, Need some help… was scrolling through my son’s phone messages… he left his phone unlocked… I know it’s a breach of privacy, but see he has been smoking, not cigarettes, and he and friends arranging between themselves… not sure how to handle it and what to do say. If raise the issue - he will know I’ve been through his phone. If I ignore - he is getting away with it… am in a quandary. ~ A.

Click here for my response...


Why do some adolescents hate Math and Science?

It is a known fact that, as kids grow into teens, they gradually lose their natural curiosity and inquisitiveness. Their diminishing love for the unknown coupled with the much harder high school curriculum, can then be attributed to their subsequent hatred for Mathematics and Science.

Although most of these adolescents haven't realized it yet, this is a very alarming situation. It is important for these young people to understand that Mathematics and Science form the very foundation which holds this world together. Therefore it is imperative to point out what the main reasons are behind the continued dislike for these analytical subjects and then provide solutions for such:

(1) They are boring subjects.

Mathematics and Science, with all its formulas and theories can easily alienate young minds. It's wrong to believe that Mathematics and Science don't promote creativity/stimulate the imagination as much as the other subjects like English and Social Studies. In fact, that's the core of these subjects, Science more than anything: Imagination. They are only bounded by what the teenager can fathom.

It is therefore necessary for educators to make these subjects less boring for the teens. If a teacher is armed only with bland Powerpoint presentations and yawn-inducing lectures, there's no surprise that teens will hate the teacher as well as the subject. There should always be room for "fun" even if the subject matter isn't fun in the first place. Most twenty-somethings would usually remember the educators who make a mark on their lives. It would be really nice to hear about successful men and women who can associate their success with their high school Mathematics/Science teacher.

(2) They are attributed with nerds/geeks.

This crude teenage social system is pretty much still common even at this day and age. Look at it this way, the cooler kids with their cars and their pool parties will never dare to be seen with the Science nerds and the Mathematics geeks. Such primitive conduct is simply atrocious!

As an old bumper sticker said: "Mathematics is radical!"

The false belief of being un-cool when you excel in such subjects as Mathematics and Science needs to stop right now. Sure, they may be looked upon as "pariahs" in the teenage society, but these nerds and geeks are the future multi-millionaires of their generation. Moms and dads as well as educators should promote such advocacy – that teens should stand up with their head held high and be proud if they love Mathematics and Science. Wouldn't it be like Millhouse's Utopia if there were Jocks who are also Calculus geniuses or Homecoming Queens who dabble in Organic Chemistry? Or maybe this geek is just stuck in a daydream.

(3) They are difficult to understand.

The thing that separates Mathematics and Science from the rest of the subjects in school is their difficulty. The inability to master the equation for a certain chemical reaction or the formula for a multi-step problem can take a toll on even the brightest minds. You can seldom spot a teenager who flunks English or History, except if they find the tedious task of submitting long essays/reports.

One can easily combat this difficulty with constant practice. It may sound like an old record, but just like sports, Mathematics and Science is no different: Practice indeed makes perfect. When a hard Mathematics problem is encountered, the teenager should always see to it that he/she can understand the theory behind the problem and then solve it step-by-step. Provided that the "boring factor" is already eliminated, then the teenager, whether he is not equipped with the analytic brain required for such subjects, can tough it out just through practice, sheer determination, practice, drive to succeed, and even more practice.

I leave you with a quote by John Louis von Neumann: "If people do not believe that Mathematics is simple, it is only because they do not realize how complicated life is."

(4) Some of these subjects can't be used in day-to-day life.

This statement is completely and utterly FALSE! Even the most minor area of the Sciences is used in everyday living.

As stated earlier, Mathematics and Science comprises the very foundation the world in general is standing on. Business, social structures, even politics has their roots on Mathematics and Science. To completely disregard its importance as a core subject taught in schools is a big no-no. Teens, as young as they are, should come to the realization that they will need these subjects as they go on with their lives, whether they apply to university or not. To understand such concept, one must again rely on the creativity and passion of the teenager's Mathematics/Science teacher. If they can make their teens understand, then such false statements will never enter their heads.

As a conclusion allow me to say that Mathematics and Science should never be looked upon as subjects that make your life difficult. For what it's worth, they're the ones who will make your life simpler and easier.

Online Parent Support

How do I get my over-achieving daughter to slow down?

"I have taken the quiz and surprisingly found that I was a severely over indulgent parent. This angers me because I didn't think...