HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

Teens & Facebook Problems

Hi,

I had purchase the course a few months ago and was trying to work through t and our daughter (the reason we purchased the course) seemed to be doing better. This morning (The main computer that all the children use has a block on IE so it will only go to approved sites and has software to limit time and function - this was done because of my oldest daughter) I needed to use the computer as I couldn't get my laptop to edit a file correctly and my oldest daughter was on and i noticed that Facebook was up, it is not on the approved site list and noticed that it was a profile of her! It was not really her a it was a slight variation of her name, but it was her. A few months ago we had the same problem with myspace - she had created an account as a 19 year old waitress and it was not a family friendly thing. Both of these instances were due to my wife accidentally shutting off the web filter and she (my daughter) took advantage of it. We put the web filter on a couple of years ago as we found her cruising many XXXXXX porn sites and corresponding with men on different forums. We are now finding that the stories she has been relating lately about different friends are her online friends and she has been giving out our home phone number to these people and they have been calling us recently. We keep thinking that we can trust her then she does things like this. All today knowing that we are so upset with this she seems totally oblivious and is acting like nothing happened. We are at our wits end and nothing seems to be working. I don't know how she learned to do these thing or where she got the idea. My wife s ready to kill her or throw her out of the house - I don't know what to do. I hope that I am not rambling and do admit that I haven't gone through the whole course yet. I am hoping for some advice and direction to take. My daughter is ADHD and on adderall, I don't know if she needs checked for schizophrenic tendencies as the person online is not the girl who lives with us. Please help.

Thanks,

L.

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Hi L.,

Facebook privacy settings are an important part of keeping daughters save from predators who are everywhere just waiting for naive daughters to introduce themselves. That's why you need to use Facebook privacy settings to keep daughters safe while they have fun on Facebook. These Facebook privacy settings will help keep your daughter safe on Facebook.

Before We Start Changing Facebook Privacy Settings—Here are some Facebook safety settings that you can use to keep strangers away from daughters on Facebook. Before we can start changing Facebook privacy settings you'll need to get to the right page.

At the top of your Facebook page you'll see a link that says "Settings". When you hold your mouse over that link a menu will pop up. Click on "Privacy Settings" from that menu.

Now we're ready to change your Facebook privacy settings to keep your daughters safe.

1. Who Can See Your Daughter's Profile Information? It's important to make sure that strangers (aka those not on the friend list) can't see your daughter's profile information. This includes such things as photos, personal information, videos, their friend list, and anything else they may include on their profile.

To adjust your daughter's Facebook profile security settings start at the privacy settings page. Then click on the "Profile" link. From here you can change the privacy settings for your daughter's Facebook profile. For the safest setting choose the option to allow only friends to view all of the settings on the page.

2. Who Can See Your Daughter's Photos? Don't let just anyone see the photos your daughter puts up. Daughters like to post photos of themselves and their friends, definitely something you don't want a predator to see. This is a setting you'll have to teach your daughter to use, or go in occasionally and do yourself. Each photo has it's own setting so every time a photo is added, the security setting will need to be changed.

To adjust individual photo settings on your daughter's Facebook profile start at the privacy settings page. Then, as before, click on the "Profile" link. Scroll down the page a bit and you'll see a link that says "Edit Photo Albums Privacy Settings", click on this link. Now choose "Only Friends" as the privacy setting for every photo to keep your daughter safest.

3. Who Can See Your Daughter's Personal Information? These are things like your daughter's IM screen name, email address, website URL, address and phone number. There's no way you want this information out there for all to see. Go in and change this Facebook privacy setting immediately.

From the Facebook privacy page again click on "Profile". This time also click on the "Contact Information" tab to change these privacy settings. Change all the security settings on this page to "No One" for the most secure setting.

4. Who Can Find Your Daughter's Profile? As a default setting on Facebook, anyone can do a search and find anyone else using Facebook's search tool. Keep people from finding your daughter's profile in the first place by changing this Facebook privacy setting.

Starting from Facebook's privacy page click on "Search". Where it says "Search Visibility" choose the options that says "Only Friends". Then under where it says "Public Search Listing" make sure the box is unchecked. These settings will ensure that only people on your daughter's friend list will be able to find him in search.

5. How Can People Contact Your Daughter? When someone comes across your daughter's profile they may want to contact them for some reason. Maybe to ask to be added to her friend list or maybe to ask her a question. You can control what that person can see on your daughter's profile while they're there.

Starting from Facebook's privacy page click on "Search". Then scroll down to the bottom of the page. There you'll see the "How Can People Contact You" section. Choose to disallow strangers from seeing your daughter's photo or their friend list. Then choose whether to allow or disallow people from adding your daughter as a friend. Most importantly, you'll need to decide whether you want strangers to be able to contact your daughter at all.

Good luck,

Mark

My Out-of-Control Teen

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think the stated problem was that the daughter was not allowed to be on Facebook, and managed to find away around the filters her parents had put in place. I would assume the daughter then would be more than capable of changing her privacy settings to allow strangers to see her info, photos, etc and be able to contact her- which is her intent by creating the fictional identity. Sounds like she may need to lose ALL computer access unless it is required for schoolwork, then be allowed only under strict supervision. Otherwise she might easily end up on a milk carton. Just my thought.

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