HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

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Frequently Asked Questions About Online Parent Support

FAQ:

1. What types of behavior problems are covered in the program?

Mark: “The Online Parent Support® (OPS) program will help you deal with most of the negative behaviors children and adolescents exhibit. I focus primarily on the behaviors that prevent a child from getting along with parents, teachers, siblings, etc., as well as those behaviors that may damage the child's future, mental health, and/or physical health. For example:

·        Acting-out sexually
·        Anger-control problems
·        Annoying siblings, classmates, etc.
·        Arguing with adults and other authority figures
·        Behavior problems at school
·        Blaming others for mistakes and misbehavior
·        Cigarette smoking
·        Destroying property
·        Disrespect
·        Experimenting with drugs or alcohol
·        Fighting
·        Getting suspended or expelled from school
·        Hanging with the wrong crowd
·        Harboring resentments
·        Having brushes with the law
·        Lying
·        Poor academic performance
·        Poor self-esteem
·        Refusing to comply with rules and requests
·        Running away from home
·        Skipping school
·        Staying out late at night without permission
·        Stealing
·        Talking back
·        Temper tantrums
·        Verbal & physical abuse toward parents and others

The techniques outlined in the program will help you in parenting ALL your children, not just those who are out-of-control.”

2. Do you have any outcome measures regarding the success rate of your program?

Mark: “We do track outcomes for the Parent Support Group (i.e., the live seminars), which if the offline version of OPS. The material presented during these seminars is exactly the same as the material presented online. The only difference is that individuals who attend the live seminar see me face-to-face and ask questions directly, whereas members of OPS see me in a series of Online Instructional Videos and ask questions via email.

Based on data collected since March of 2002, approximately 94% of participants report that (a) the child’s behavioral problems have reduced in frequency and severity and (b) the few remaining problems are manageable. Research of OPS has also shown:

·        Reduced screaming and name-calling
·        Reduced parental stress and anxiety
·        Reduced or eliminated spanking and hitting
·        Reduced child behavior problems
·        Increased parental confidence
·        Improved parenting skills
·        Improved parent-child relations
·        Improved child self-esteem
·        Improved child cooperation
·        Improved child adjustment
·        Improved child academic performance

The success rate for members of OPS is nearly identical to that of parents who attend the live seminars.”

3. Will this program work as effectively for an African American family, for example, as it does a Caucasian family?  In other words, is race an issue at all?

Mark: “There has been a great deal written about the effects of class, race, and ethnicity on parenting styles. Many of these studies have portrayed the parents in “non-dominant” groups and those with low socioeconomic status as deficient in parenting. The negative portrayal of parents who are members of non-dominant groups has occurred to a large extent because White, middle-class European American parenting styles have been used as the standard against which parenting styles are measured. Parenting styles that are viewed as less than optimal in one cultural context may be necessary to cope with the realities of another cultural context.

Most authors tend to write about the culture they know best. Because it is the predominant culture in this country, most authors of programs and books write about white, middle-class families. As a result, some programs may not be sensitive to the cultural differences of minority populations.  In the past ten years, there has been a rapid movement towards making programs more culturally relevant to different populations. We pay attention to how different cultures raise their kids – and have adapted OPS to match these differences.”

4. Can grandparents use the program?

Mark: “Yes. More and more grandparents are becoming the primary caretakers these days. Thus, they must take on a different role -- the role of parent. Many members of OPS are grandparents who have learned effective ways to deal with problem behavior that was beyond their wildest imagination -- behavior they had never witnessed in their own children. Whether you have big problems or small problems …teens, preteens or younger children …whether you are a single parent, divorced or separated parent, adoptive parent, foster parent, step parent, a traditional two-parent family, or a grandparent raising a grandchild …this material is guaranteed to work for you.”

5. What is the difference between conventional versus unconventional parenting techniques?

Mark: “Unconventional parenting strategies are simply those approaches to parenting that moms and dads do not typically think to use. We have to be creative when parenting strong-willed, out-of-control children and adolescents. In some cases, you will be instructed to do the last thing you would ever think to do first.

It is widely accepted by parent educators today that parenting patterns are learned in childhood and replicated later in life when children become parents. The experiences children have during the process of growing up have a significant impact on the attitudes, skills, and child-rearing practices they will use with their own children. However, when raising a child with oppositional defiant tendencies, typical parenting strategies (i.e., techniques your parents used when you were growing up) tend to make the child’s behavior problems worse. No parent is prepared, based on his/her past family-experience, to deal effectively with an above average level of defiant behavior. Parenting a strong-willed child does not come naturally. Regrettably, parents often waste years trying to figure out a way to ‘get through’ to this type of child.”

6. Can teachers, social workers, and other therapists use the information in the OPS program?

Mark: “Every adult who works with children in some shape/form/fashion will benefit from the strategies presented in OPS program. Hundreds of OPS members (as well as individuals who attend the live seminars) are now better equipped to deal with their difficult students, clients, and patients because they learned how to think outside the box and approach behavioral problems from a completely different angle. Clinicians, educators, therapists, etc., will receive five Continuing Education Units (5 CEUs) after completing the course and filling-out the program evaluation form at the end.”

7. Will this program meet the requirements for court-ordered parenting classes?

Mark: “Yes. OPS is endorsed by Madison Superior Court, Division II. Parents can receive a certificate of completion (upon request) after completing the course and filling-out the program evaluation at the end.”

8. Why an E-book rather than a regular book?

Mark: “We wanted the book to be digital (i.e., an eBook) so that parents could download it instantly – no waiting for shipment. Most parents who are struggling with their child’s behavior problems need answers immediately rather than in 3 to 10 days. Parents do not have to wait for a physical product (e.g., a book) to be shipped to their homes. Instead, they can begin programming within a matter of a few minutes.”

9. Is there a recurring monthly charge, and is there a time limit regarding how long parents can access the material?

Mark: “No. Members only pay a one-time fee of  $29.00, and there is no time limit. You can go at their own pace, access the material from multiple computers, and share your membership with other family members at no extra cost (e.g., spouse, ex-spouse, grandparents, etc.).”

10. Why only $29.00? The other programs out there are so much more expensive.

Mark: “Because there are no physical products. We have no inventory, and there is nothing to ship. All the video, audio and text are completely download-able. If we had to ship DVDs, CDs, and a hard copy of the book, the cost would be closer to $299.00.”

11. Can this program work for me if I’m divorced and my son’s father lets him get away with everything while at his home?

Mark: "Yes (you're referring to the Disneyland Dads). But I have to say, neither you nor your ex can control your child. Neither one of you can make your child spit, stand on his head, walk a straight line, or any other behavior for that matter. Thus, you will learn how to (a) stop trying to 'control' behavior, and instead (b) start 'influencing' her/him to make better choices. As a result, your child will take your 'influence' with him/her (so to speak), even when he/she goes over to dad's house."

12. How long will it take to see a positive change in my child's behavior?

Mark: "You should notice positive changes in your child – and in yourself – the very first day you use OPS parenting strategies. As you begin to implement the techniques outlined in the program, you will see even more significant, long lasting changes in your child’s behavior and attitude. Parenting your child will become easier -- and more enjoyable."

Bear in mind that if your child is, say, 13-years-old -- it has taken 13 years for the problems to get to this point. So it will take at least a few weeks to get the problems turned around. Most parents (90% plus) see permanent changes in their child's behavior within 4 weeks.

13. My child has a diagnosis (e.g., ADD, ADHD, ODD, Bipolar Disorder, Aspergers Syndrome, Reactive Attachment Disorder, etc.). Will it work for him?

Mark: “Definitely. Children rarely act-out for extended periods of time simply because they have a behavior problem. Most of these children have underlying, core issues that will need to be dealt with in advance of 'misbehavior'.  The OPS program is especially helpful -- and indeed necessary -- for children who are having these mental health issues.”

14. Is there anyone who shouldn’t use the program?

Mark: “Children with severe autism, profound mental retardation, and disorders that result in an inability to communicate will probably not benefit as much from the strategies outlined in the OPS program.”

15. What is the age range for this program?

Mark: “I've used the techniques and concepts in the OPS program successfully with children as young as 3 years of age – and as old as 19. The program has proven to be effective with children of any age, because it provides detailed guidelines to help parents create (in some cases spontaneously) the most effective approach for any given problem -- regardless of age, gender, or race. A popular parenting-myth is that one should parent differently depending on the child’s age. This is an example of the misinformation floating around. You would certainly want to use different language depending on the child’s developmental stage (e.g., you don’t want to use big words with a 3-year-old), but parents should basically parent the same way whether their child is 3, 13, or 23.”

16. What if the program doesn’t work for me?

Mark: “Then we will refund 100% of your purchase price ($29.00).

If you will work the program, the program will work for you – especially if you take full advantage of the parent-coaching aspect of OPS. Our third-party researcher who conducts ongoing 'outcome measures' of OPS reveals that, of those random members who are polled, approximately 94% report that:
  •  the child's behavioral problems have reduced in frequency (i.e., the number of episodes of parent-child conflict that occurs within any given week)
  • the child's behavioral problems have reduced in severity (i.e., the intensity of the parent-child conflict)
  • the few remaining problems are easily managed by the parent.

It should be noted that we rarely get requests for refunds – in fact, quite the opposite. We frequently receive emails from parents who feel as though they have 'under-paid' for this service because of the huge benefit received.”

17. Can I order this program even though I live in Australia?

Mark: "Yes. The program is all online - so your geographical location is not an issue. Nearly 70% of OPS members are from outside the United States."

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