Franco is now rebelling because he feels he is being punished...

re: My two stepsons share a basement bedroom. Franco, the 17 year old, takes on the hero role and rarely breaks rules. Anthony, the 15 year old, takes on the scapegoat role and is constantly breaking rules. We grounded Anthony and took away cable TV in the basement. Franco is now rebelling because he feels he is being punished. What should we do?

==> Ground Anthony FROM the basement. In other words, have him stay IN the house, but OUT of the basement (except to sleep at night in his bed).

Franco feels sorry for Anthony when we ground him and has encouraged and helped his brother to get out of the house. Should Franco be disciplined for that? If so how?

==> Yes. Use the 1- to 3-day-discipline outlined in Session #3 entitled “When You Want Something From Your Kid.”

My stepsons' mother often finds excuses to take Anthony when we ground him because she feels sorry for him. Should we restart his grounding when he comes back?

==> No. But he should not be able to leave to be with his biological mother until he has completed the 1- to 3-day discipline. If his mother refuses to go along with this plan, then – yes – you restart the grounding when he returns.

Mark Hutten, M.A.

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