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Has she earned the CD or is it a bit of a free handout...

Hi Mark!

Just a question about rewards-the school counsellor started A___ on a star chart a few weeks ago (before we joined OPS) and I was wondering what to do about it. We've sort of kept it going-she gets a star for good behavior and there is a list of rewards after each 10 stars (ie) a friend to play after 10stars, dinner out after 20, a new CD after 50 etc etc...We are up to 50 stars now after giving her a star for going to bed without a fuss and not getting up a million times-she has done this all week and she got a star last night. But she wants a new CD and is taking the list of rewards as gospel-I can't seem to change them around. So, has she earned the CD or is it a bit of a free handout or should we phase out the chart? Just not sure of what to do....

Generally her behavior this week isn't as bad as the last few weeks and we feel we are making a tiny bit of progress every now and again so thanks




Hi L.,

Re: So, has she earned the CD or is it a bit of a free handout or should we phase out the chart?

We typically don't reward "good behavior" with extra stuff and freedom, rather we simply give acknowledgment and praise. But...

We also do not want to fix things that are not broken. Thus, if this system is working, I wouldn't change it.

When you are undecided about what course to take, ask yourself, "Will this promote the development of self-reliance in my child -- or will it inhibit such development?"

If it will likely foster the development of self-reliance, then it is a good course of action to take. Otherwise, you should re-evaluate.


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