ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Mark My son (16) is settling back at home fine now but he keeps on pushing some limits. Although he is not shouting at me or throwing things or going out at the moment, he will not listen to the little things. For example, I said I would pay for his summer ball if he cleaned the following rooms for me in the house and he chose 3 task cards. However, some of the details on the task cards he has not completed and the deadline which was set for him on Wednesday last week was to complete all 3 by Saturday night. He completed 1 full, the 2nd (75%) and left out the last (3rd) as it was to sweep up the front lawn. He said he would do that at night so no one could watch him (neighbours). The consequence for not completing all 3 was that I could cancel the cheque on Monday. Question: Should I go through with cancelling the cheque tomorrow now. Overall he is behaving much better this past week and there has been nothing but politeness from him and a good mood. Is this what you would...

Mark- The problem I have with my 15 yr old daughter is that she also keeps holding a lot of anger especially with her Dad. He has been in and out a few times, either way he has been here now since last July and she still gives him a hard time. Right now I am going to be doing this on my own for now. They are not speaking at the moment. Can I implement this on my own anyway? He knows I am going to attempt it so I don't think he will interfere with it. I hope they will get back to speaking to each other soon. I think the resentment, anger and forgiveness are difficult for the 2 of them. Thanks, S. ````````````````````````````````` Hi S., About 90% of OPS members are single moms -- so yes, you can implement this on your own (and you're in good company). Mark Online Parent Support

Hello Mr. Hutten, This is G__ from New Jersey writing you again. I joined your online support group this evening and I'm finding it very informative. It's now around 11:18pm and I'm still going through the videos and information for week one. I feel that it's that important. I already feel a sense of control, especially after taking the parent quiz. What an eye opener! I signed our son up for school counseling this week, prior to joining the online group. I almost wish that I had waited. Hopefully our son will understand that we love him and want only the best for him. Since he is adopted, we know that he has so many questions and at times feels lost. I think that we over compensated for everything.....this is a part of life and this too will run its course. I look forward to participating in the online groups and getting the CD. It's a lot to absorb....but I feel that it is truly worth the investment. Thank you and I look forward to communicating with you...

My son talked to me last night about his future life plans and your program has helped him discover that he really is afraid of growing up and having to become more responsible for himself and his needs. He discussed the fact that he didn't feel ready to go away from home to attend college, but would rather get his feet wet at our community college and stay at home for 2 yrs. before transferring to a big school. He admitted that he knows he's been spoiled by me and that he has to learn to take on his own responsibilities, but the fear is there. What a breakthrough for him. I told him I would support whatever decisions he made as long as they were realistic and he was committed. Knowing/trusting I am here as a safety net has made him feel more confident in moving forward with his life. I think becoming 18 (in Oct.) came a lot quicker than he realized. I know it did for me. I believe because of working your program, just in the nick of time, it has really gotten him to look at hi...

A child pyromaniac is one who suffers from an impulse-control disorder that is primarily distinguished by a compulsion to set fires in order to relieve built-up tension. Most young kids are not diagnosed as having pyromania but rather conduct disorders. A key feature of pyromania is repeated association with fire but without a real motive. Pyromania is a very rare disorder and only occurs in about one percent of the population. It can occur in kids as young as three years old. About ninety percent of the people officially diagnosed with pyromania are male. Pyromaniacs only set about 14% of fires. Many clinical studies have found that fire setting rarely occurs by itself but usually occurs with other bad behavior. The motives that have recently earned the most attention are pleasure, a cry for help, retaliation against adults, and desire to reunite the family. It seems like it is a combination of pyromania and bad behavior that initiates fire setting. Fire setting amon...

Mark- The school has diagnosed my 13 yo w/PDD. Haven't heard of this and have no idea what it is. Please fill me in. Thanks, J. `````````````````````````````````````````` Hi J., The diagnostic category pervasive developmental disorders (PDD), as opposed to specific developmental disorders (SDD), refers to a group of five disorders characterized by delays in the development of multiple basic functions including socialization and communication. The pervasive developmental disorders are: • Autism, the most commonly known, • Rett syndrome, • Childhood disintegrative disorder, • Asperger syndrome, and • Pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS), which includes atypical autism. Parents may note symptoms of PDD as early as infancy and typically onset is prior to three years of age. PDD itself does not affect life expectancy. There is a division among doctors on the use of the term PDD. Many use the term PDD as a short way of saying PDD-NOS. ...

Hi Mark The situation with our son is almost at breaking point now. He knows we expect him to go to college (three days a week), but we have always said if he would prefer to get a job that's fine, as long as he finds that job before jacking in college. He's 17 so he doesn't *have* to be in education, although if he doesn't complete his course he won't get a good reference. Plus he has something of a criminal record which will go against him - it would be good to stay in education to put some distance between that and his job application. But it's his life... Anyway he has decided to jack in college in reaction to one of our boundaries, which he thinks is a stupid rule. We don't want him to have his girlfriend sleep in his room. It's our house and we're not comfortable with it, not least because we have two younger daughters to consider. He is attempting to manipulate us over this. First he swore a lot and was rude. Then he said he...

We are homeschoolers of a 16 and a half year old son. We also attend church. He has always been a strong willed child.....but lately he has become very hateful at times and up and down with his emotions... almost at the drop of a hat. We have found out he is not sleeping well at night and he has got to the point where he cannot stay awake during school work or anything else. He is barely making it with his school work and doesn't seem to care. He is very musical and has decided that music is all he cares about and wants to do. As a christian kid you would think that he has never learned a thing about how to treat people with respect. We tried to get him to consider taking something to help him sleep better and he refuses. I think he is suffering from sleep deprivation. He won't talk about anything with us....he just gets mad and asks why we care. How do you deal with a sleep deprived kid when he refuses to try anything to help him get better! He had a breakup wi...

Hi Mark, First of all let me say, this program is awesome! I was desperate on what to do with my 16 year old daughter and I googled something (can't even remember what) and your website showed up at the top of my search. I only wish I would have found something like this years ago! My husband and I are starting week 3 of the program.I'm a bit overwhelmed with it all, but we have been trying to follow through with the assignments. What a difference staying calm makes! Anyway, I have many questions but I am going to start with just one. My daughter has been getting in trouble at school. In the past she has been grounded from going anywhere for detentions. Today I learned she received a two day "in-school" suspension for her third offense of disrupting class. What would you suggest as a discipline? Do I start with the one day discipline or go straight to a 3 day discipline since the one day would be less punishment than she has gotten in the past. Also, sh...

Hi Mark, Firstly I want to say how impressed I am with your ebook and online session training. I have been referring them both far and wide to other desperate friends, since I purchased them. If you ever want to work with someone to make it more country specific to Australia (including website design), and/or undertake business development here, I would be most interested. Anyway, I am writing for your help. B__ has been spirited from birth. From a young baby and throughout childhood a total whinger (that is harsh but the truth), along the way getting up many people's noses and in particular teachers. She can equally be very funny and a great companion. She hates being alone. In addition to having an elder sister by two years she is a brother 8 years younger who suffers from a health issue. In her early teens, when her elder sister (the quiet one) was having some issues she seemed to change and become more mature and reliable. When her sister came good after about two ...

I signed up last night. I am glad I did. I have already learned that my parenting style is not what I thought it was and I am looking forward to learning new techniques. I have already referred this program to two other families, at this point, I have already received more for my money than the year of counseling sessions we attended. Thank you and God Bless! S. Online Parent Support

Hi Mark Need quick help with a situation. My son is 17 and has been pushing at all our rules and boundaries. We have settled into a situation where we allow him to stay out overnight, just so long as he is always back by a certain time at college nights ready to go to college next morning. Last night when he had missed the deadline by half an hour, we called him and he said he had no intention of coming back or going to college the next day. We said if you choose not to then you choose the consequence, which was his phone being switched off remotely at the service provider. He insisted he had more important things to do. I switched his phone off. This morning I checked his room and found he had come back (about an hour and a half late). It was time to get up for college and when I told him I needed him to get up he swore at me and told me he wasn't going to college. He was extremely disrespectful. However he eventually got up and went to college, but I told him that because ...

What do you do if your child is expelled for the rest of the year …what activities should he do besides giving chores and groundings …how does he get educated in the meantime? ````````````````````````````````````````````` This is a real hot topic: what to do with kids who are expelled. Unfortunately, short of home schooling or alternative school – not much can be done given the current system that pervades most U.S. schools. The debate seems to go as follows: Reasons To Agree With Expulsion— I don't believe school is the right place for many of these students. Children without these massive problems have a right to learn, and are often harmed by the violent and disruptive behavior of these students. We need to protect other students and still having them onsite does not do this. But more places are needed which cater for these kids, throwing them out is not to answer. But a non-school based place is needed. I believe school is there for learning and if the...

Dear Mark, Having been inspired by yourself I decided to take the plunge and write my own book on successful modern parenting. The book itself is quite substantial and includes topics which I hope will answer many parenting concerns. It also covers a broad spectrum of parenting issues, i.e., your child s health, mental and physical development, single parenting and education to name but a few. I have spent the last 4 months researching and writing this book. I want to ensure that I only provide parents with quality information. I highly respect your views and opinions as I know you're an expert in this field. This is why I was hoping you could review my product as I value any feedback you may have on it. From my own personal experience, I know that there are a lot of rubbish being sold on the internet. I want to provide a book which I believe will be good value for money. I have attached a copy of the book for you to view it yourself. It is still in its draft phase and I am yet to ...

Thanks for your reply Mark. My kids do not do well with change and we have implemented up to and including everything in session 3 and am starting session 4. One week of each was going too fast for them and then tend to think I won't continue to be consistent if I try to do to much changing at once. You know they think "oh she'll forget about it next week" so I've had to go slower. However my children are doing much better at communicating their needs and finding alternatives to hand outs and freebies from me. My son has a deep seated resentment towards his alcoholic father and until he deals with that (if he ever does) he will never "drop the rock" of his anger completely. However it does not justify the rage. He was quite humbled and apologized to us all after the policeman talked to him. I hope he takes it as a second chance. Because the NEXT time he is going away, one way or the other. I will continue to refine as I go along. I realize it's a pr...

Hi Mark, we have been implementing your program since Jan 1st. I have done everything by the book and consistently as possible. I have taken it slow and worked one session a month. Maybe too slow. Implementing session 3 now. My son's rages have decreased to at least no more physical violence so far and have been further between incidents. However this last blow up started on the 26th ( with the grounding/ no cell) and he had made so many infractions of the discipline ( computer and TV were then taken away) that by the 28th he had flown into a rage, punched knuckle marks in my steel door, broke my cordless phone because I wouldn't let him use it and tore up "The Rules" off the frig and spit on them on my dining room floor. What set him off was his Grandmother stopping over and giving him a little lecture about his disrespectful language towards me (her daughter). Well he blew up and feels that his transgressions are between him and I only. I may not talk to his fath...

Hi L., I've responded throughout your email below: Hello, We are using your instruction for our out of control teen. We have a 16 yr old son, who over the last year (on & off) has been drinking alcohol, smoking marijuana Please refer to "Read These Emails From Exasperated Parents" [session #4 - online version of eBook] for recommendations on pot and alcohol. and hanging out with the wrong group of kids. Please refer to "Hangin' with the wrong crowd..." below for recommendations on negative peer influence: click==> http://www. onlineparentingcoach.com/2008/ 09/hangin-with-wrong-crowd. html He was arrested for possession of drug paraphernalia in his car (misdemeanor in Idaho) and a positive urine for marijuana on 2/6. This is his first encounter with the law but not with his parents. We meet with the probation officer next week to discuss sentencing. My question to you is should we ask for him to spend time in juvenile detention (a ...