Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

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Teens Who Make False Claims That the Parent is Abusive


Last week I signed up to get your ebook and instructional videos. I have a question. My out of control teen has a set of grandparents and a family that she has convinced I am completely abusive to her. I have been turned into the authorities four times now from false allegations and have a meeting for a 'home visit' tomorrow with the latest investigation case worker. My daughter wants to go live with the grandparents and will do whatever it takes to get removed from my care.

My concern is a co-worker I know has a similar situation. Her son turned his mom in making abuse allegations. They didn't 'stick' so the second time he turned her in for alleged abuse he made marks on his body and called saying his mom was abusing him. It stuck that time and his mom, who wouldn't hurt a flea, is now on probation for 17 months for the abuse allegations.

When do I throw in the towel? I am very worried this is going to go the same way for me.......not if but when.




Hi B.,

This is all too common (i.e., the kid has learned that she can duck out off receiving consequences for poor choices by alleging abuse).

In short, I suggest letting your daughter try this new living arrangement with the g-parents (if they are amenable to it) – but – let her know that, in the case she burns a bridge with them and wants to come back to live with you, she will have to agree to abide by a behavior contract (that you draft-up ahead of time).

If / when the g-parents arrive at THEIR wits-end and ask you to take your daughter back, do so only under the understanding that they are not to allow your daughter to run back and forth from one home to the other depending on her mood / attitude at the time. GOT IT!

Mark Hutten, M.A.


==> My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents


Anonymous said...

Don’t wait, call DCF and keep your social worker informed of what’s going on and your concerns

Anonymous said...

I am going through a similar situation. My daughter, nearly 16 has for the third time made accusations of abuse. Once against her dad, then her stepdad and more recently myself. She has even gone to the extent of researching various injuries before she tells her confidant about the assault, which have been numerous. We have been through the child mental health services who basically said ahh.. she’s a teenager they all tell lies. Social services, who have had to check on our other children as well. It has all caused so much stress and upset that I just don’t know what to do anymore. Monday evening we were chatting and I had said I had booked us tickets to watch a show for me, her and sister. Told her I would book her into the salon with me for a hair colour before our holiday in 2 weeks. She’s then gone upstairs and literally 5 minutes later text this lady and told her I had just punched her in the head. I am at my wits end. I have sent her over to stay with her Nan for a few days while I try and process this but I just can’t see a future for her living here when she can’t be trusted or truthful after everything she’s already put us through. I do think that she probably has a mental health disorder of some sort but child mental health services are pathetic unless they are threatening suicide. Any advice would be welcome.

Anonymous said...

Ditto same horrible experience by my q3 Yr old wiry mental diagnoses

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