ONLINE PARENTING COACH

A catastrophe, such as recent hurricanes, is frightening to many kids – and even adults. Talking to your kids about the event can decrease their fear.  It is important to explain the event in words the youngster can understand, and at a level of detail that will not overwhelm him or her.  Several factors affect a youngster's response to a disaster.  The way kids see how their moms and dads respond to such an event is very important. Kids are aware of their parent’s worries most of the time, but they are particularly sensitive during a crisis. Moms and dads should admit their concerns to their kids, and also stress their abilities to cope with the disaster.  Falsely minimizing the danger will not end a youngster's concerns. A youngster's reaction also depends on how much destruction and/or death he or she sees during and after the disaster. If a family member or friend has been killed or seriously injured, or if the youngster's school or home has been severel...

Attention seeking behavior is basically your son or daughter regularly misbehaving to get attention from you, the parent. It may be as simple as doing things to annoy you and disobeying any house rules. Your youngster is acting this way not because he likes to get yelled at, but because he enjoys the attention his misbehavior brings. He knows that you don’t like it when he misbehaves, and there is only so much you can do to stop him. This gives him a sense of power. The problem here is, sometimes moms and dads let the youngster have his way so he will stop acting-out. This is the worst approach since he will then realize that misbehaving also comes with bonus! Therefore the attention-seeking behavior pattern continues and will be used more often. Here are some of the traits of the attention-seeking child. He or she: Is frequently out of his or her seat at school Is late in getting school assignments turned in May use profanity or crude language Often tries to be nonconfor...

Your child was once loveable, cheerful, and a fairly good student. But now his behavior has changed dramatically. And to make matters worse, you suspect that your child is now using AND selling drugs.    No attempts to reason with your teenager have helped. You have scolded, threatened, taken away privileges, had difficult talks with the school and the cops – and nothing works! You are watching your adolescent turn into a “stranger in your house.” The stakes are high, because he’s engaging in criminal behavior that could cost him jail-time, and he’s putting chemicals in his body that may literally destroy him. What now!? The first step is to recognize the signs of drug abuse and drug dealing.  Here are some of the prominent red flags that parents should look for: any request for information is met with hostility behavior problems in school drop in grades dropping old friends has become disrespectful and defiant has a sudden influence of a new crowd incre...

One minute, your teenager is begging you to take her to McDonald’s for lunch. The next minute, she’s insulting your intelligence and calling you a “bitch.” If you look closely, you'll notice that you've been through this before: When she was a 2-year-old, she needed you one minute, and was throwing a tantrum the next. She was seeking independence then – and she continues to do so now. Part of being a teenager is about separating and individuating, and many teens feel like they need to reject their mom and dad in order to find their own identities. Teenagers focus on their peers more than on their parents and siblings, which is normal too. So, why do some teens lash out and use harsh words like "I hate you"?  Because they are in a difficult stage of "transition" (oh, and by the way, they don't actually hate you, rather they are simply trying to separate from you and haven't found a tactful way to do it, yet). Here's a closer look...

A new killer drug has recently hit the U.S. All parents should be aware of this and talk to their teenagers about it: 2C-I (also called " Smiles ") is becoming a serious problem. This drug comes in liquid, pill or powder form and is usually snorted or ingested. Overdoses of the drug have been reported in Indiana and Minnesota, but 2C-I is surfacing in many parts of the country. During an overdose, the user’s muscles may become rigid and his/her body temperature becomes elevated. Overdoses have been known to cause seizures, kidney failure, and fatally high blood pressure. The effects of 2C-I have been called a combination of MDMA (ecstasy) and LSD, only far more potent. Users have reported a speedy charge along with intense visual and aural hallucinations that can last anywhere from hours to days. 2C-I is relatively new. It first surfaced around 2003 in European party scenes and only recently made its way to the states. One user describes the high as a ...

What’s up with this title: Are You Creating A Monster?   Well… in other words, are you spending a lot of time, energy and money seeing to it that your child is as “happy as a lark” to the exclusion of helping him or her develop self-reliance and a sense of personal responsibility? Kids don’t turn into a monster because they’re innately bad. Instead, an over-indulgent parent who doesn’t provide limits and structure can foster out-of-control behavior in children. If you are creating a monster, you’ll know it. Child monsters are rude to you and other grown-ups. They won’t share with other kids. They will act bossy and demand to be first in line. They don’t answer your questions and ignore your instructions. If you deny them a new toy or treat, you’ll face a tempest of crying, howling, and little fists pounding the floor.  Here are a few more signs that you are in the process of creating a monster: Your child believes the rules do not apply to him. She can be v...

The tween years are an exciting and challenging time for your youngster – and for you. This stage in your son or daughter's life occurs in that brief, eruptive time “between” (hence the name "tween") early childhood and adolescence.  No longer is your little man playing cops and robbers in the confines of your backyard – rather he's now biking through the neighborhood with his buddies. And your darling baby girl may be thinking less about her Barbie doll and more about her appearance. Tweenhood is a game-changer for the whole family. So, if your youngster is between the ages of 8 and 12, throw out all of your old childhood parenting books, because you'll need a new set of techniques for the years ahead. In this post, you are going to get the top 25 strategies you'll need for nurturing and disciplining your tween: 1. Asking your tween to suggest a consequence. Your tween may have an easier time accepting a consequence if she played a ro...

Adolescent Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), also known as Inattentive-type ADHD, can be difficult to detect. It is a disorder that causes inattention behavior in adolescents inappropriate to their age. Unlike other forms of ADHD, Attention Deficit Disorder often does not cause disorderly behavior, so adolescents who suffer from this disorder may go unnoticed by parents and teachers. Struggling at school alone does not indicate that an adolescent has Attention Deficit Disorder. For a therapist to consider a diagnosis of adolescent Attention Deficit Disorder, symptoms must have been present from childhood, must manifest themselves in more than one setting (e.g., school, home, or work), and must interfere with successful functioning in two or more of those settings for at least six months. For example, an adolescent who is having problems at school but is fine at home, at work, and in social situations would not be diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, but might have another pro...

The last thing that most parents consider when they are trying to come up with some form of discipline for their unruly child is “humor.” But, when used in the right way at the right time, the use of humor and playful parenting can be a clever (and sometimes startling) technique. The most important factor in disciplining a child is the connection between child and parent. While humor is certainly not the only way to make a connection, it's probably the best way since laughter and play appeal to most children. Use humor to defuse tension. When a youngster has pushed his parents over the edge, humor can be a safe way to regain their ground. By putting a humorous slant on behavior that still must be addressed, parents model effective ways for children to handle feelings. Turn anger into laughter. Parents who can help an angry youngster see the humor in her position without making her feel ridiculed is showing her how to calm down. When parent and child can laugh toget...

So your child is entering middle school this fall, and you are wondering how to manage the transition? The answer is, "very carefully" because his or her life is about to undergo a number of major challenges. The transition to middle school is marked by several significant (and perhaps stressful) changes: This is a time when young teens are most likely to experiment with at-risk behaviors. This complicated period of transition has often been associated with a decline in academic achievement, performance motivation, and self-perceptions.  The transition to middle school comes at a time when kids are also experiencing a host of other changes associated with the transition from childhood to adolescence. They are beginning to mature physically, and to think of themselves as individuals outside of their families. Their attentions turn to exercising independence and developing strong relationships with peers — while avoiding exposure and embarrassment. The atmosphere at ho...

Mom: “If you don’t stop slamming your bedroom door, you’re going to be grounded for the rest of the week – and the weekend!” Teen: “I don’t care!!!” (SLAM) Sound familiar? If your teenager refuses to follow house rules, and also acts like the consequences for breaking the rules are a joke, then you (the parent) need to change your parenting approach. There may be any number of reasons why your teenager fails to respect you, your rules, and your consequences. Does he refuse to accept the rules because he considers them unfair? In this case, the teenager's objections – and the parent's reasons – warrant further discussion. Are the rules clear? Important rules need to be put in writing. Here are some tips for issuing consequences to teens that (supposedly) "don’t care" about consequences: 1. Be assertive without yelling or losing your temper. A willful teenager is likely to think it's funny to see you losing your cool. Disciplining your son or dau...