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I feel like we're leading a secret life...

Hi Mark,

My husband and I have been reading your info online and find it very helpful and educational.

Our son, has been out of school for 2 weeks. We kept him home for one week before he was hospitalized. He was in a depression and had hit his low. This week he checked in to a very nice facility in Pasadena and has been out. He has a teacher, nurse, doctors, support groups etc.

My problem is talking to people to ask where he is or the attendance office at school. My husband and I usually say, "He was under some stress and needed some time off." Last night my husband and I went to our first session with him with his psychologist (Who he likes and listens to). It was a tough but good session.

Tonight is back to school night. My husband will stay home with our 9 year old and I will go and meet his teachers whom we have been in contact with. He is a bright student in the honors program. They move very fast in class. He is a Junior. I have asked for another homework packet for the week for our son to work on while he is not at school. What do I say tonight at the "Back to School Night"?

I did send a letter to his teachers saying: upon his return to school if the teachers would ease him into the schoolwork, so as not to stress or overwhelm him. His water polo coach is the one we will have the most trouble with. We have left 2 messages for him and he has not returned either one. He is going to ride our son upon his return.

They are trying our son on Depacote 250mg. twice a day. With this we need him to exercise. Our son is very good water polo player and need to return for exercise so as not to have a weight gain. He can tend to get a little overweight w/o exercise.
I feel like we're leading a secret life in what to tell people and not to be too honest, for they will judge him or label him later.

AAAhhhhhhhh.....

Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

D. and C.

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This is easier said than done, but don’t try to cover-up anything. I’m concerned that will create more problems than it prevents. And do NOT attempt to get teachers to pamper your son. This too may cause more problems than it solves.

Are you taking on too much responsibility for your son, and are you trying to save him from uncomfortable emotions? If so, this goes against the grain of the parenting program you are currently working.

Mark

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