Hi Mark
When I called the cops on my daughter due to a similar situation a year earlier (she was 14yrs old), the Police took her aside in a separate room and she told them a big story about how her behaviour was not her fault and that I was a bad mother and so the Police advised her to go to live with her father. They did not bother to find out from me what the truth was about her behaviour, and also that her father had bashed her (and our son) in a drunken/drugged rage. In short, the Police here would not help me and instead guided our daughter into a dangerous situation (and she then witnessed her stepmother and step-brother being bashed by her father. - They then left and had him charged but our daughter was then left alone to live with her father who threatened to kill her if she left him.)
BUT THE GOOD NEWS IS is that I did continue diligently with your program, and every time that I was in danger of being hit by our son due to setting limits or issuing a consequence for our son’s misbehaviour, I would quickly leave the house and go for a walk or drive for 30 to 60 minutes to give him time to calm down (even if it was cold and raining in the middle of winter). I had to persevere with this for a few months and now things have improved DRAMATICALLY. Our son knows that I will follow through with consequences (it was taking the TV cord so that he couldn’t watch TV).
Our son is no longer physically violent or threatening to me and does not tease or hurt our dogs anymore. I am now working on his bad language towards me and that is greatly improved.
Then, about 3 weeks ago, our daughter, thank goodness, returned to me. She is much more grown up and appreciative of me now and even said to me yesterday ‘I thought I was right Mum but now I know I was wrong’. Though she herself is still at risk of acting violently towards her brother, she is really looking at herself and listening to me and I am totally confident now that with your program that I can discipline her to change her tendency towards violence to her brother (she is not violent to me anymore).
A big part of the change in the whole situation (where our daughter got the confidence to leave her father) was because I filed an Affidavit in the Family Court speaking out about everything that has happened in our family which came as a big shock and wakeup call to their father. Even though he has punished me repeatedly and harshly every time I have spoken up, because I have been using the principles of your program on him, his retaliation is slowly but surely diminishing.
I want to tell you that your program has been an absolute life-saver for our family, without the use of ‘the cops’. I have found that many police lack understanding and willingness to do anything, except for a very few, however despite that, I am managing to pull our family back from chaos to civilisation.
I am also continuing to use the philosophy of your program on my ex-husband as best as possible. Thank you very much, I will keep going.
C.
Online Parent Support
No comments:
Post a Comment