I have read through all your information. I feel inspired. My 14 year old son has anger rages when things do not go his way. He says he wants to help himself but he doesn't know how. Your information is wonderful in how to help us parents but how can he help himself?
When your son feels better about himself, he will begin to help himself.
Your child is like a computer, and you are the computer programmer. He takes your disapproval/criticism as instruction. For example, if the parent says to the child, “You’re such a slob,” the criticism downloads in the child’s unconscious mind as “I am a slob” and he ‘acts-out’ the criticism as if it were instruction to be sloppy.
The good news is that your son takes your compliments and encouragement as instruction as well.
For example, the parent’s compliment, “You do such a great job of not blowing-up when your younger brother annoys you” downloads in the child’s unconscious mind as “I am in control of my strong emotions,” and he acts on the compliment as if it were instruction to be calm even we he is annoyed.
Also, catch your child in the act of doing something right at least once each day – accuse him/her of being successful!!!
“I noticed you picked your jacket up off the floor …I appreciate that!”
“I see that you’re doing your chore without having to be asked …thank you!”
“You got home by curfew …that’s you being responsible!”
“Your sister annoyed you and you walked away …that’s good self-control!”
“I see that you’re upset, and I appreciate that you’re handling your strong feelings well.”
“I see that you’re frustrated with the assignment and that you’re sticking with it."
“I like that you were honest when it would have been easy to lie …that’s respectful!”
“You’ve been using much more self-control when you’re mad.”
“You did what I asked right away …you followed directions beautifully!”
- ► 19 (105)
- ► 14 (62)
- ► 13 (52)
- ► 12 (57)
- ► 11 (108)
- ► 10 (145)
- ► 09 (149)
- ► 08 (393)
- Why two names?
- How do I encourage some conversation in our home?
- YOUR CHILD'S ACADEMIC SUCCESS
- 27 year-old twins are still behaving like rebellio...
- FDA Has Concerns About ADHD Medications
- Mother Receives an A+
- Self-Reliance is Key!
- The Romeo & Juliet Phenomenon
- Husband is not on the same page...
- Is it realistic to insist on appropriate attitude....
- We need an exorcist!
- What can you tell me about NVLD, and what can a pa...
- Does He Need Residential Placement?
- My Space Predator Exposed
- I just want to make sure this doesn't fall into th...
- Son Vandalizes Mother's Residence
- Daughter Ran Away and Moved In with 21-year-old Bo...
- She is not doing her reputation any favours...
- HEG Biofeedback
- I was so pissed...!
- How To Get Teenagers To Study
- 16-year-old mom in a 35-year-old body...
- Stress-Relief for Stressed-Out Moms
- Son with ODD
- Are we doing the right thing?
- How do you know when it is over the top?
- I Hate You !!
- Desperate mom searches for quick fix...
- Neurofeedback for ADHD
- Mom Has To Attend Counseling
- What do we do next?
- Can you help me sort this out?
- Military School Option
- She won't go to school...
- How can he help himself?
- She's a Kicker!
- We can't make it through the next 6 weeks without ...
- Teen Suicide
- Grounding Teens "From" Their Bedroom
- This is so confusing and hard ...
- ▼ 2 (41)