HELP FOR PARENTS WITH STRONG-WILLED, OUT-OF-CONTROL CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

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I Hate You !!

"I know there are lots of changes going on and my daughter is going to react, but I need some support on another issue. She asked this morning if her friend could come over after school (chores had been done) so I said yes, but asked her to please call me and let me know if her friend was coming or not this afternoon (it was kinda up in the air awaiting approval from the other child's parents). My daughter called, as I requested, but left a vm on my work phone saying this: "Hi Mom, Mallory is coming over, I hate you, Goodbye." This for some reason annoys me to no end. I have no idea why, but I'm both infuriated and want to cry. Do I address it or not ... and if so, how?"

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2 comments:

EarthmA said...

My son is 7, and often tells me he hates me...then a second later he wants a cuddle. I just say..oh, ok! And the moment passes. There are too many other other issues to make a big deal out of this one! Good luck...remember, when she is a mother, she will think back to these says!

Jeannie said...

My two oldest have pulled this. I have taught them it is normal to feel hate but to say it to me is hurtful and not ok.. If they feel angry write it out,go for a walk, but do not rain down nasty words on me! Mom is too valuable and not to be abused with nasty hurtful words. They now never say it. Will walk away I give them space, then talk about it when everyone is less angry.

The Strong-Willed Out-of-Control Teen

The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages, self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to control.

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