ONLINE PARENTING COACH

Hello Mark, I sent you an email the other day about our daughter having a party in our house while we were gone and that she said she didn’t. Well we found beer in our fridge, etc. And lots of other stuff, and she sort of admitted to something going on in the house. I spoke with her about my feelings and I am not okay with it, but I was able to say how I felt. My husband on the other hand is so upset about it that he isn’t speaking to her. This is often how he handles things with her and they just don’t talk. I have to agree with my husband that she is very disrespectful to him and to me when she does talk about how she feels. He often has to leave the room, because she isn’t respectful. His stand on things is that she needs to leave and the sooner the better. I agree she needs to move out, but I don’t agree that he should not be speaking to her. They don’t even acknowledge each other in the same room. Her graduation is coming up and he doesn’t want to go. I feel in the middle a...

I have a 17-year-old son that has become increasingly defiant and angry with me (his mom), although I don't understand why because I've always been his number 1 supporter. Well, he skipped a couple of classes yesterday at school, so I gave him three days of grounding. He said he couldn't be grounded, because he had plans already established with his friends. I told him he would have to change them, that I expected him home after school. He said "no" - and he didn't come home after school. He called me and told me if I decided to call the police to go find him, that "I" would face his wrath of him breaking every window in my house (he's never exhibited violence before). He has recently began saying "F__ you” to me, like it's normal behavior. I turned off his cell phone because of it, but it has made him even angrier. I've read through the ebook, but either missed it, or didn't understand - how do you even begin to start pu...

I do not know what to do anymore besides turn my 17-year-old son out of the home. His dad and myself have been divorced for quite some time (he was an alcoholic and after we divorced he pretty much abandoned my son and daughter). I met a man 5 years ago who has been an active part of my son’s life, but since we have been together my son has displayed constant negative behaviour (delinquent). In December we got a call from the school principal who suspected my son was selling pot. When he came home my fiancé found it so we did what we thought was best and turned him in to the police. He was recommended to youth diversion. He is currently doing this program and just last night I came home from work to find a note left. My son said he had gotten a call from a friend to say her boyfriend was abusing her. He took my fiancés car keys (he wasn’t home at the time, he works offshore) and my son hit a concrete barricade and beat up his car. He doesn’t have a license or insurance. What sh...

Dear Mark, I would be grateful for any advice you could give me regarding my daughter, E___: E___ is just 18 and has a younger brother (M___) age 15, she lives at home with both parents (myself & my husband) - we are both doctors and I have worked during their childhood. She has always been very bright & done well academically at school but has found it hard to make friends. This is in contrast to her brother who finds schoolwork hard going but is very popular and easy-going. This led to problems in their childhoods, as various nannies & carers have found M___ much easier. We have had a turbulent few teenage years but things have gradually become a lot worse with a number of problems - Driving: she has the use of a car and has had 2 serious accidents - both her fault; and around 6 minor bumps all of which she refuses to take responsibility for. She has been on an advanced driving course and her car use restricted. >>>>>>>>>> What d...

Dear Mark,I totally appreciate your e-book and study almost everyday. We are in the middle of the battle with a 17 year old daughter and we are staying above water. If you could help me with a few questions. She has snuck out twice. The second time at her dad's where she thought she would not get caught. This time it was a little drinking, sex, and out the whole nig  This boy wants to marry and he is trouble. My daughter has always been very quite and made A's, B's in school …now, mostly C's and wants to live with him and his mother. They have no rules or structure in their home and he is constantly telling my daughter I am the enemy and I am horrible. When I get off track with how to react, I go back to the guidelines you have set up in your e-book and start over. The question is this boy? We, her dad, step-dad and myself, do not want her seeing him and we want her to get back on track with studies and what she needs to do to head for college. Do you have anymore ...

Mark, Things had been going relatively well for approx. 3 weeks. I had e-mailed you re: some suspicious behavior, but couldn't prove it. I was feeling pretty good. Well, Thursday was the start on a backslide. He was asked to call me at work from landline phone as soon as he came home from lacrosse practice and to get something out for dinner. He was to take his last class of driving school (me transporting him) and then rush to his 9 yr old brothers baseball game. No phone call ever came. When I walked in, he was in his room, pretending to be napping (I think he was on his phone). Husband, me, 16 yr old got caught up in an argument re: this. I ended up taking him (I had already NOT taken him twice before for behavior) since I am trying to hold up my end of the bargain, (husband was REALLY mad), made it back for most of the baseball game, and 16 yr old had to be off the phone early that night (this was suggested, not ordered, and was given freely 15 minutes early) AND...

I was looking for a chart of normal behavior in young teens, do you know where I could access this. If as parents we don't know what normal behavior is for a 12 year old per say, then how can we judge them as being abnormal? We have a son who seems to "need to control things" a huge amount of the time from everything to how he uses the toothpaste (dribbling it all over the sink wastefully) to how something should be done. He doesn't seem to be able to recognize he is doing this even when it is pointed out to him. He has to always end a conversation even when he is told to shut up repeatedly. He is even to the point where he mumbles to get in the last word. He is on concerta for add ...could the meds be doing this? Thanks for any info. ``````````````````````` If you factor in (a) genetics, (b) environment and (c) personal choice -- you find a wide range of behavior that can fall into either the "normal" or "abnormal" category -- depending ...

Hi Mark, I have written to you about my daughter. I have read your book and listened to the audio. I tried to get my husband to listen one night, we only got through a couple of chapters. We haven't had the time (or he hasn't mentioned it again), to finish it. I can tell he is a little skeptical of the techniques (picking battles and letting things "slide"). I have tried telling him what it is all about and he seems open to listening but like I said has not pursued listening to the rest of it. Anyway, an argument broke out last night because of her attitude and being disrespectful to her stepbrother (his son). She ended up say the "F" word several times. This word has been "slipping" out of her mouth a lot lately. I have chosen to ignore it most of the time, she is usually yelling it as she walks away (which walking away is progress for her). He does not understand this and refuses to let her talk that way, he yells at her and makes thre...

Hi Mark, I'm the step-father of two teenage boys, ages 17 and 15. Their mom and I have been married for 5 years. Both boys decided that they weren't interested in academics (duh) and began failing their classes. We pulled them from public school and put then into on-line school. Even with the reduced studying demands they continue to perform poorly. A___ routinely ignores his curfew and C___ has a significant problem with truthfulness. Both are in trouble with the authorities. I have 3 court dates this month alone. His mom and I have been working on the 3-day-grounding rule, but even that gets ignored. We need to have some sort of significant wake-up call that doesn't alienate them. I told their mom that a few days or months behind bars might be just what they need -- she's concerned that they'll just increase in their poor behavioral choices. Any suggestions?     ``````````````````    Hi S., You’ve raised 5 issues: poor academic performance, curfew viol...

Hello mark-- Just a question of how to handle something!! My oldest daughter, who is 18, ready to graduate next week, I have wrote to you many times about, LOL!! …anyways, we went on vacation and she was left at home and I requested no parties at my house and no alcohol to be brought into the house. We got home yesterday and it is obvious that there was a party, empty containers, she says aren't hers and that she had a friend over that may have left it there? What should we do??? I am so fed up? P.    `````````````````````    Unfortunately, you don’t have any evidence that she is NOT telling the truth. Thus, I don’t think you can legitimately issue a consequence.    Mark 

Good afternoon Mark, I am a new addition to your website and have purchased and downloaded your information. I haven't read through the materials yet, but wanted to ask your opinion on the situation going on in my household. I am at a loss at what to do. My 17 year old son and I have always gotten along and he's always been very honest with me. Earlier this year he had started using marijuana, and had tried a handful of other drugs. He told me about this on his own. I told him I did not approve of his use, but appreciated his honesty with me. He and I have since had various conversations about his drug use, and my wish for him to stop. I have never punished him for what he has told me, because I thought that would result in him not telling me anything. Well, in late March he was caught at school with a very small amount of pot (I know, any amount is to much). He was suspended from school for three weeks. We got through that, and he's back at school - with the c...

Mark- We are beside ourselves. Our daughter, and I am a stepmother to her, so she doesn't feel that I have a place in her life except that I am married to her dad. She lives with us. Although she hates coming home because it is so far away from her friends. She takes off, has her friends pick her up from here even when we tell her she is a "runaway". She stays out at friends' homes for days without telling us where she is. Her favorite saying is "f... y..". She is disrespectful to her dad.    She was picked up by the police this weekend because she was in a car with a friend who had a gun and drugs. We don't know what to do with her. We are considering sending her to a camp for troubled teens. Can you please provide us with some advise? If we say white, she says black. If we say left, she says right. It doesn't matter what our approach is, she always contradicts it. We are definitely in trouble here and need advise. We believe she is...