I'm the step-father of two teenage boys, ages 17 and 15. Their mom and I have been married for 5 years. Both boys decided that they weren't interested in academics (duh) and began failing their classes. We pulled them from public school and put then into on-line school. Even with the reduced studying demands they continue to perform poorly.
A___ routinely ignores his curfew and C___ has a significant problem with truthfulness. Both are in trouble with the authorities. I have 3 court dates this month alone. His mom and I have been working on the 3-day-grounding rule, but even that gets ignored.
We need to have some sort of significant wake-up call that doesn't alienate them. I told their mom that a few days or months behind bars might be just what they need -- she's concerned that they'll just increase in their poor behavioral choices.
You’ve raised 5 issues: poor academic performance, curfew violation, lying, legal difficulties, and refusing to accept consequences.
1. Re: Poor academic performance—Please refer to my recommendation on the webpage entitled “Emails From Exasperated Parents” (online version of the eBook).
2. Re: Curfew violation—If your son is required to be home by a particular time and he does not come home, then he is considered to be a ‘runaway.’ File a ‘runaway complaint’ with police as well as juvenile probation.
3. Re: Lying—Please refer to “When Your Kid Lies” (online version of the eBook).
4. Re: Legal difficulties—I’m glad you are getting assistance from Juvenile Court. This will be a good thing. I’d rather your sons experience some mild, short-term pain now (in the form of probation) rather than a lot of major, long-term pain later (possibly in the form of adult jail – or worse yet, prison).
5. Re: Refusing to accept consequences—Again, if a child is unwilling to accept consequences for misbehavior, the parent has to be willing to enlist the help of an outsider (i.e., probation).
- ► 19 (105)
- ► 14 (62)
- ► 13 (52)
- ► 12 (57)
- ► 11 (108)
- ► 10 (145)
- ► 09 (149)
- ► 08 (393)
- Husband is a Skeptic .
- Out of Control Teens
- I am so fed up?
- F$%k You
- She was picked up by the police...
- She lies ALL the time...
- The Mom From Hell?
- The Truth About Free Government Grants
- He Doesn't Care
- Mom Hits Homerun
- Mom is a Sadistic Bitch?
- Lack of nutrients and minerals could be causing bi...
- Adopted Daughter Problems
- Adoptive Daughter Problems
- We Kicked Her Out
- Is your son a computer hacker?
- It's getting worse...
- I'll commit suicide if I don't get my way... I swe...
- Mom With a Grateful Attitude
- The "Art of Schmoozing"
- Depression Leads to Disrespect?
- Is She Bipolar?
- Mom Gets Punked - Again!
- Pleased With The Prospects
- If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll ...
- Short-term Mild Pain vs. Long-term Major Pain
- Creative Wife Gets Resistant Husband "On Board"
- I've tried every form of punishment known to man...
- She is dealing with extreme aggression...
- How about a Big Sister?
- Daughter Problems
- I just want to know if there is hope...
- ▼ 5 (32)