I have written to you about my daughter. I have read your book and listened to the audio. I tried to get my husband to listen one night, we only got through a couple of chapters. We haven't had the time (or he hasn't mentioned it again), to finish it. I can tell he is a little skeptical of the techniques (picking battles and letting things "slide"). I have tried telling him what it is all about and he seems open to listening but like I said has not pursued listening to the rest of it.
Anyway, an argument broke out last night because of her attitude and being disrespectful to her stepbrother (his son). She ended up say the "F" word several times. This word has been "slipping" out of her mouth a lot lately. I have chosen to ignore it most of the time, she is usually yelling it as she walks away (which walking away is progress for her). He does not understand this and refuses to let her talk that way, he yells at her and makes threats. He told me last night he is just fed up and cannot and will not allow her to talk that way in his house. I don't think he understands why I blow it off and probably thinks I am not handling things the right way.
I have tried to put other techniques in to play and she seems to be responding a little, which is a good thing. She has controlled her anger for the most part during our arguments. I feel this is progress. I don’t' think he understands or thinks there is ANY progress going on.
How should I get him to have a more open mind to listen and understand the concept of this book?
This problem comes up quite frequently (i.e., husband not really interested in doing anything differently). The best solution I found for this was actually not my idea at all.
One mother (going through the same problem as you) played the audio CDs of the eBook each time she and her husband were in the car together. I think she kinda brainwashed him a bit. You know ...the more you listen to something, the more you unconsciously start implementing what you heard.
This is a way for him to experience some of the material without having to really do anything (no reading, no sitting at the computer).
In the car, he's a captive audience. Give it a try.
You can get the CDs here ==> Audio CDs
The Strong-Willed Out-of-Control Teen
The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages, self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to control.
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