Then he aimed a plunger at my head, which hit me...
I’ve answered below where you see these arrows >>>>>>>>>>
I should be calling our state police because my son's therapists want me to for any kind of angry, violent acts including throwing a wad of paper at me. But I'm afraid they would just laugh and not come in a real emergency.
>>>>>>>>>>>>> Calling the police would be a waste of time, but you should go to your local probation department and file a battery charge. Allow me to repeat this: you should go to your local probation department and file a battery charge! If you don’t, then you will be attempting to “save” your son from emotional pain associated with his poor choices – a form of over-indulgence.
>>>>>>>>>>>>> If you read the Anger Management chapter of the Online Version of my eBook, then you’ll see that you have reached the highest level possible on the anger ladder:
6th - Physical violence enters the picture here. This violence may be partially controlled because the kid knows what he is doing, even though later he might claim it was an accident. The kid plans to stop when he gets his way …if the parent gives in, he’ll back off.
Some of the things that may occur in this last stage:
· destruction of property
· domestic battery
· cops are called – sometimes by the kid
· parent files incorrigibility charge
· kid may not be conscious of his actions
· kid may become suicidal
· he may physically hurt the parent
My son began his escalation an hour ago by smoking in his bedroom. I smelled smoke, went to him and reminded him of the no smoking in the house rule. He then began ranting about his ability to do anything he wants. I can’t stop him, etc. I kept my poker face and he got more mad because I wasn't engaging so he spit on the floor at my feet. Then he aimed a plunger at my head, which hit me. I told him that was totally unacceptable and he kept screaming all kinds of obscenities at me, leaving the room and crawling onto my bed quietly just as quickly as he escalated.
15 mins later he is trying to talk to me as if nothing happened...This kind of thing hasn't happened in many weeks and I know he is incredibly frustrated with his school program and has become quite depressed. Psychiatrist and I are in frequent communication but what to do to address this need for control. Thanks.
>>>>>>>>>>>>> I have nothing to add other than what I’ve stated above.
>>>>>>>>>>>>> YOU NEED BACKUP in the form of probation. Parents must have a “zero-tolerance-policy” when it comes to domestic battery by a child.
The Strong-Willed Out-of-Control Teen
The standard disciplinary techniques that are recommended for “typical” teenagers do not take into account the many issues facing teens with serious behavioral problems. Disrespect, anger, violent rages, self-injury, running away from home, school failure, hanging-out with the wrong crowd, drug abuse, theft, and legal problems are just some of the behaviors that parents of defiant teens will have to learn to control.
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