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Aspergers + Borderline Personality Disorder + Alcoholism = Big Challenge for Mom

Hi Mark,

I am half way through reading the ebook. As I have read many books of this nature, it is always a good reminder. While being an assertive parent already {although I realise I can brush up on my skills}, my latest challenge comes with many complexities.

My 15 year old daughter has had many different diagnosies from mild aspergers to borderline personality disorder, the latter being the most appropriate.

While I have been relatively successful with my power of influence I am having great difficulty in keeping her in at night as alcohol is her latest passion. She was involved or maybe I should say instigated an alcohol-induced decision to have a party at my parent’s house. This involved a lot of damage to the house and my fathers brand new Jaguar.

So as you can imagine this did not go over too well. She has suffered the consequences, which was an apology, loss of her allowance for 10 weeks and no internet access.

I know she felt very remorseful but her guilt led her to further involve herself in wrong doings. I knew I should have supported her but I just couldn't. I thought I was doing the right thing by telling her this. My exact words to her were "I know you need my support right now but I am hurting to much and I need some time." This basically resulted in a tail spin of aggression and bad behavior, which is now on the decline and hopefully in time she will earn back my respect.

Grounding has never worked for my daughter but up until Christmas she was allowed out one night of the weekend and was always home by 11:30 pm. I felt this was appropriate behavior. Now she goes out 2 nights over the weekend and sometimes won't come home till midday the next day. If I tell her she is grounded she throws a few obscenities at me and just leaves the house without my knowledge. When things get very tough for her she uses the power of manipulation to win me over, which entails asking me for help whether it be a detox program or a stay in private psychiatric clinic. Because she does have real problems I cannot deny her of this.

She is very mature for her age [most people think she is at least 18]. She is on medication for anxiety and depression. She has been hospitalised twice for overdosing and once long term for her depression. Do you have any helpful hints!

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