"WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. OUR SON IS 13 GOING ON 14. HE HAS BEEN LYING TO US AND WE KEEP ON FINDING GIRL'S UNDER GARMENTS IN HIS ROOM & BOOK BAG. WHEN WE ASK HIM ABOUT THEM HE TELLS US THAT SOMEONE ELSE PUT THEM THERE OR HE FOUND THEM IN THE GARBAGE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. WE ARE LOOKING INTO COUNSELING FOR ALL OF US. CAN YOU PLEASE HELP US. WHAT IS HE DOING WITH THEM? WHAT CAN WE DO TO HELP HIM?"
Boys often investigate their sexuality in strange ways around the age of puberty. I doubt that he’s up to anything other than typical post-pubescent experimentation. Talking openly with your son about sex may be one of the most difficult things you do. However, the insight you provide may be more valuable to him than you may think. It not only gives him information to help make healthy decisions regarding sex, but can provide the tools he needs to prevent disastrous mistakes as well. If talking with your son about sex makes you uncomfortable, consider these tips for overcoming your reluctance:
- Answer your son's questions simply and directly.
- Approach the discussions with a sense of humor.
- Be honest with your son about your discomfort.
- Practice what you want to say.
- Read books or watch videotapes about ways to teach him about sexual issues.
- Talk with a counselor or other professional.
Talking to your son about sex may be difficult, but it is far better to learn from a parent than other kids, television, or experimentation. Help him develop opinions that are shaped by your values and not by those of others.
My Out-of-Control Teen: Help for Parents