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Should I believe him...

My son lives with me in Illinois …he is 16 yrs old. His dad lives in Indiana. T__ sees his dad about 4 times per year, but talks regularly on the phone with him. T__ recently saw his dad and has become depressed about not seeing him often and admitted to drinking alcohol and smoking pot to relieve his anxiety about school tests and missing his dad. I made an appt. for a counselor, but in the meantime his dad called the parents of T__'s friends and told them that T__ and probably their children were also abusing drugs and alcohol. Now those parents want to know if T__ is a drug dealer and don't want T__ around their kids. My question is, was this a reasonable course of action to take? And if T__ says he will not drink or smoke until he is 21 yrs. old, should I believe him and monitor his behavior closely?


Hi G.,

Re: ...was this a reasonable course of action to take?

Since T__ admitted to marijuana and alcohol abuse, I would say yes.

Re: ...should I believe him and monitor his behavior closely?

This may sound harsh, but you should NOT believe him. I’m sure he’s pulled the wool over your eyes more than you’ll ever know (or would care to know). And yes, you should monitor his behavior very closely.

Please refer to “Emails From Exasperated Parents” [Session #4]. I address drug and alcohol abuse in more detail there.

Stay in touch,


Online Parent Support

1 comment:

GDOBSSOR R said...

No, it wasn't. He's not the custodial parent so he basically took it upon himself to do that. He should have called you first.


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