My daughter is 13 years old. Her father and I are divorced, we are doing our best to co-parent but it is very difficult. She lives with her father.
I miss my little girl! She is disrespectful to me and her father, uses vulgar language, she makes the "plans" for the weekend. When I tell her we are going to go do something she always says she can't because she has plans with her friends. I have lost all control of her and she runs the show.
How can we, her parents, regain the respect? We want to be good parents but we have had that taken away from us by a 13 year old girl.
Please contact me.
Thank-You for your time,
I really want to do whatever will be in your best interest. Thus, the best advice I can give you at this point (since you just joined yesterday) is to simply work through the four-week program. Only do one session per week – nothing more! If we try to implement a bunch of new parenting changes too quickly, it will backfire.
I’m not trying to avoid answering your questions. However, since the question you listed in your email will be answered directly in the eBook (mostly in the Online Version), and since the program is designed to take baby-steps toward change, I would encourage you to resist your impulse to leap through the program in search of the “magic bullet.” Instead, enjoy the process of working through each session – one session at a time. The results you so desperately desire will come independent of your striving for them. Patience is “key” right now.
Rest assured, you WILL get the answers you need to be successful with this program, but when the timing is right. I want to save you from rushing into things, and then failing. Are you o.k. with this for now?
Your daughter is 13-years-old -- it has taken 13 years for the problems to get to this point. So it is going to take at least a few weeks to get the problems reversed.
We must implement change gradually because change is tough. People don’t like change, and kids will totally reject parenting changes if they occur too fast. (This isn’t to say that you won’t notice any improvements in your child’s behavior fairly quickly though.)
As you work through the program, email me as needed for clarification about the strategies outlined in the eBook. Then after the four-week program (after you have digested most of the material), email me as often as needed with specific questions regarding any parent-child difficulty you may still be struggling with.
Waiting to hear back,
Thank-you for the advice. I purchased the ebook and the CD's. I went through part of the first session last night. Her father did too, he took the over indulgence quiz and scored a 70. He had our daughter "help" him with the questions. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
I am taking the quiz now.
I appreciate your feedback and will take baby steps with this program.
I have a paper fortune from a fortune cookie taped to my monitor that reads "Good things come to those who wait. Be patient." It now means more to me than ever!
Thank you for being a good student. We will work together over the next several weeks/months as needed.
My Out-of-Control Teen
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