Mark,
I understand that I need to let go of micro-managing my son's academic progress (which is, predictably, poor). How do I reconcile this with allowing my son to do what he enjoys (e.g., playing XBox) when it's clear he's shirking his schoolwork responsibilities? If I'm not to be on top of his homework and grades, do I then allow him to enjoy what he wants, in spite of poor academic performance?
C.
`````````````````````````````````
Hi C.,
First, what does your son do to earn Xbox privileges? Remember, ALL privileges must be earned. In this way, you are not “allowing” (i.e., a free handout of privilege) him to do anything – he is earning the privilege for himself.
Next, we don’t want to “micro-manage” schoolwork – but we don’t want to reward lack of effort either. Thus, set aside a one-hour chunk of time (e.g., 4:00 – 5:00 PM) that is either “homework time” or “chore time.” Then let your son decide what he wants to do with that hour. He can do chores or schoolwork, or some combination thereof. In the event he refuses to do either, then revert to the 3-day-discipline outlined in the eBook.
The above recommendation is based on the assumption that (a) your son has a history (i.e., at least 6 months) of “poor academic performance” and (b) “poor academic performance” is a major source of parent-child conflict.
Mark
My Out-of-Control Teen
Is your teenager suffering with ODD? Take this quiz to find out:
Oppositional Defiant Disorder Quiz: Is your teenager suffering with ODD? This quiz is designed to help parents understand some behaviors tha...
-
Here's an email from a mother whose 17-year-old son is "on the run." He has a drug habit, and is basically floating from one l...
-
Teen: “Hey mom. I’m spending the night here at Sarah’s.” Mother: “No you’re not. I told you to be home by 11:00 PM.” Teen: “But ...
-
It may be difficult to get your teenage daughter or son to follow house rules in the beginning. One thing about house rules is to let ev...