Mark-
I realized I was very good at allowing my children to be independent, but I was not very good at setting clear and firm limits for behavior. My children easily discovered rules that could be broken if their protests were long and loud enough.
Often times, I just wanted to avoid the hassle of a conflict. It was easier for me to let the rules slide than to deal with the fuss. Also, it was sometimes hard to refuse my children anything, because I didn't want them to be unhappy. I thought "unhappy children" equals "bad parents." And I guess at some level I was afraid my children would become angry and hate me if I set boundaries.
Now I know that children want to know that their parents are in charge; they need structure and limits. This concept alone is helping me immensely.
Thank you,
J.W.
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