Education and Counseling for Individuals Affected by Oppositional Defiant Disorder and ADHD

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Heavy Petting

Dear Mark,

C___ just bought your e-book for him and I to read, and we're currently reading it. At least I'm trying to read it. It's difficult for me to hold my head and neck in one spot for a period of time because of my disability, so I wanted to ask you before moving on, if your e-book comes in a hard or paper bound form? We don't have a printer to print your e-book.

Let me introduce myself. My name is P___ and I'm from Wellsville, PA. I live with my "common-law" husband, C___. Him and I have been together for 16 years now, and we have three daughters. Their ages and names are: M___ 13, K___ 9, and L___ 7. I am a disabled person. C___ is a painter and does painting work when he can.

Right now we are having a big problem with are oldest daughter M___. On Tuesday, May 29, 2007, M___ and a boy named, I__, was in "movie time" at school, with 100 other students and two adults there. Everyone was supposed to be watching the movie, but apparently M___ and I__ was not. A student saw the two of them with her hand down his pants and his hand down her pants.

I reckon that student went and told other students and by Thursday, May 31, 2007, the principal called M___ and I__ up to her office and asked them about this matter. I don't know what I__ said, but the school principal told me after asking M___ if it was true or not, she first said "NO", then the principal got a bit of an loud-toned voice with M___ and asked her again, M___ then said "yeah, it's true, it happened". M___ and I__ both got "out-of-school-suspension" starting May 31, and the rest of the school year, which by the way was about to end. They only had till June 5, 2007 and the school year was out for the summer.

Just so you know, the two adults was watching the movie, they were not going around checking the middle school students to make sure there was no talking, no caring on, no anything going on.

Can you help C___ and I with this matter? Honestly, I don't know what to do about this. Have you ever came across a issue like this before?

M___ acts as if it's no big deal. She said to me: "it happened, it's over, everyone makes mistakes, now lets forget about it and move on!" M___ is sassy-mouth, disrespectful to her dad and I, as well as other adults, mean to her younger sisters, doesn't do what she is told and/or asked of her, blames everything she does on me or someone else, she does that "cutting" stuff to her arms, thinks her friends are the best people on the plant, has tried to run away, and one time we didn't find her until 1 hour and 30 minutes later. We was scared to death.

M___ calls her dad stupid all the time, she tried to stay in her room as much as she can, she is only nice when she wants something from us, she's always mean and hateful, M___ has even been caught shop lifting, with one of her so-called-friends, she gets and has bad grades, she's demanding, she will not clean her room, she has written all over the walls. This list can go on and on.

HELP!! Please help us.

I take M___ to a Counselor ever week and a Psychiatrist every month, but they had no information, help, or anything to offer me when I let them know about this matter with the boy. Things have gotten worse, not better. I thought these people are supposed to help us and help M___!

I'm at the end of the line and can't handle any more problems with M___. I'm begging you to please help us!

Sincerely and awaiting your reply,

P. & C.


Re: Does your e-book come in a hard or paper bound form?

No …I’m sorry. For a hard copy, you must print from your own printer.

Re: Have you ever come across a issue like this before?

Yes …petting, more often referred to as making out or rounding the bases (you know, getting to 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base, and so on), and sometimes called heavy petting is a term covering a broad range of sexual behaviors (e.g., giving/getting a hickey, deep kissing, sexual touching of one's partner). The touching, caressing, massaging and kissing of another person's body can take place through the clothing or under the clothing, and 'heavy petting' usually involves removing some clothing and touching BELOW the waist.

Since heavy petting is progressively more sexual, it carries greater risks and consequences (e.g., risk of pregnancy or infection of a serious STD). In the example of petting below the waist and inside the pants and underwear, the same hand touches both person's genitals (i.e., when touching yourself and then your partner, you can transfer body fluids, including sperm, to your partner's genitals). This same risk is true when two people share the same sex toys in the same way. Even a tiny amount of fluid or sperm is enough to transfer a disease or get a girl pregnant (warning: sperm can live outside the body, though not for very long).

Transferring body fluids, including sperm, from one partner's genitals to the other person's genitals can result in pregnancy (when male to female), or the passing of a serious sexually transmitted disease (e.g., Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Herpes, AIDS, HPV, Hepatitis, Trichomoniasis, Pubic Lice [crabs], Scabies). Heavy petting with many different partners greatly increases the risk of STD's.

Thus, I think some simple ‘sex-education’ would be better for your daughter at this point than some type of negative consequence.


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