Our son is in a long-term mental health facility. We do not know where to turn for advice. His therapist is recommending that we put him into a group home. She does not believe that the treatment he is receiving will have any affect on our family life and that he will never be able to return home. This is frustrating because he is there to get help for his aggression and depression. He feels unloved and we wonder if she is helping him feel that way. Why are we paying these people to help our son when their answer is that there is no hope? We don't know who we should contact or what we can do to help our son and ourselves. We want to be a happy family, but they don't seem to share that goal. We will be visiting him on the 23rd of this month. Can you offer us any guidance on this? Thank you for your support. We look forward to hearing from you soon.
M. & D.
Hi M. & D.,
My day job involves working with teens/pre-teens and their parents. I work with these families in their homes. All of these kids have a variety of behavioral and mental health problems (e.g., adhd, odd, cd, ocd, bipolar, asperger’s, tourette’s, etc.). All of them were formerly in placement somewhere and have been returned to the home. I help parents re-learn how to parent their out of control, “unconventional” kids with the use of “unconventional” parenting strategies.
If they were to continue to parent their children using “conventional” parenting strategies, it wouldn’t be long before the child would have to be removed from the home again. Why? Because “conventional” parenting strategies BACKFIRE when used with “unconventional” kids.
I use the term “unconventional.” More familiar labels are “problem child,” “abnormal child,” “dysfunctional child” and so on. Whatever term you want to use, the bottom line is this: If you will use the strategies outlined in my eBook, and if you will use me as your parent coach via email over the next several months, there is absolutely no reason why your son cannot come back home and live a normal life.
It is never too late …there is no problem that is too big …and there is no need to continue living as a worried, defeated parent. But you cannot parent your son like you would a “normal” or “average” child. And you’ll have to take care of yourself in ways you wouldn’t have to if your son were not so strong-willed and out of control.
If you will “hunker down” and prepare yourself for the hard work ahead, I’ll be there for you as often as you need my assistance. We can get him returned home, and we can get him behaving in an acceptable manner within a few weeks. If you will take a step of faith here and make a commitment to making a few changes in the way you parent, then you will experience the same success as hundreds of other parents who were in the same boat as you are now.